one
thousand words daily
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| Acorns under a tree. My son was collecting some... to feed the squirrels where he lives. Note: Many large oaks we see were purposely planted by Native Americans, hundreds of years ago, as a food source |
Day: 16 patience and the waiting game
Whenever I am faced with issues and adversity,
I revert back to times when I was worse off, in order to deal with the current
struggle. My thought path is usually, “At
least… I can remember when… or I am thankful for… blah blah because ya know,
things can always be a lot more worse. Remembering the good times as well as
the bad ones that were, in my opinion, shittier than the current predicament
always has me thankful for just being.
Even while in constant pain, I must admit that I cuss, curse at folks
out loud as well as quietly because my take is.. “There is no way that people...
are just that damn stupid.” Then I
remember the thing about expectations, which is we cannot expect others to have
the same values, morals or expectations as we have. That would be insane and unrealistic of me.
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| Another ER visit. |
perception
of things
Yesterday, upon waiting for the nurse
to discharge me from the ER, after her offering Motrin, a pain reliever which
does nothing except make my stomach upset and piss me the fuck off, I forced
myself to look on the brighter side of things.
For one, my headache was almost completely gone! So what if I didn’t
have the right tools to combat a migraine the next day because for today, I will
live J. Although the ER previously had my medications
on record and were able to assist me times before with such pain issues, there
was no reason for me to get all bent out of shape over it. My previous train of thought would be to
blame my primary care physician, the healthcare plan or insurance that I’m
under, or the laziness and lack of professionalism of the doctor as well as the
ER staff. This time I just said to
myself, after I left of course, “I hate Tracy, this ass-backwards small town of
a city that I’m currently in, while looking forward to better times and
brighter days.
I had to rush after I got out of the
doctor to pick up my wife to be to also feed her as well as the baby to
be. I called my son to let him know I
love him and to encourage him to have the best day possible while trying his
very best at everything he decides to do.
Exercising my writing skills, even while a bit drugged up, I was able to
write one short article for The Candid Chronicle about Hemp in Wisconsin as
well as begin a blog on Trumps Secret Marijuana Committee. I was afraid, especially with nauseousness
from the migraine and the meds that I would be rendered useless. I even thought
my pregnant woman might need to drive our big van for me.
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| I was trying to capture this bee with my phone but... |
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| ... it kept doing this cool acrobatic shit. |
high hopes and aah-hahs
With patience comes many things such
as insight, rewards in knowledge and wisdom.
Wisdom is only gained when lessons are filtered through a proper lens
and learning occurs. I await this child
to be born into not just a healthy-loving environment but also into one where
it has little wants and needs. Love is
in abundance in this new family of three and although my own family didn’t jump
for joy when I mentioned this pregnancy, I am fully aware of the opposition
that comes with expectation, judgment as well as lack of understanding,
regardless is miracles are involved or not.
I just want my woman to have the best pregnancy ever and to be the happiest
she has ever been. When it comes to my
happiness, I’m happy rest assured that she has everything that she wants and
needs, especially for this new miracle of life.
I say miracle because she was not
supposed to be able to have kids. She
had a procedure done. I truly believe in the divine and in
providence, God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, Jesus, whatever you choose to call
your Almighty, Higher Power. I am
answering my callings, my God-given talents, and that is an
understatement. When I say that “I am
exactly where I am supposed to be,” is difficult to say with everything going
on, yet I understand it fully. I know
that there is more for us out there, as our dreams and daily realities remind
us of it in hints and blessings. The
smile I get, filled of unconditional love from my woman I love is nuff
assurance that I am on the right path and the messages and love I receive from
my Higher Power solidifies my faith and exemplifies my wisdom furthermore.
Just know that no matter where you
are in your walk of life right now and how far you have come, that there is
always something more to explore, something new to learn and some amazing,
positive experience worth sharing with another soul. Although there are many things we can in no
way control, some pain so deep that it is hard to console, things can be done
with the right outlook, the right push, the right amount of faith, yes, and
mountains can be moved. I guess I’ll
write a poem for you too.
I hear
that large sets of wings sometimes fall from the sky
With no
attached body or bird and they still don’t know why
Some
believe that future generations now lack the magic
Once
tragedy hit, striking the wrong nerve
Some feel
as if the future is lost to those which do not deserve
As
failure is digested along with progress
Where
dreams once sprouted fresh
Now are
left poisonous seeds of neglect, pollution and regret
For
power is presumed by no real earth movers or soul influencers
Tide
breakers stand in the waters firm while the man-made storms spin wild
Although
it is costly not to notice the violent storms which brew from within
So we
blame and banish instead of feed and nourish, we take for granted
The
hearts and lives which require as much love as we do
Ain’t
shit soft about telling your child you love them or
Playing
dolls with your daughter
There’s
nothing more ambitious than dancing with children and laughing repetitiously
For
their happiness, safety, solitude and artistic attitude turn into our riches,
instead
Nations
of those have failed, cop out for the dollar and turn into punk bitches
Taking
it up the ass with no Vaseline in order for rent to be paid and to “look clean”
when
Their hearts
and very souls are soiled with filth that even with bleach, cannot be scrubbed
Turning
into the monsters they once feared when they were children that cannot be loved
When
listening and acting takes just a note, a hug, a taught lesson and a turned
jump rope
Oh my oh
my, the everlasting seasoning of triumph filled with promise and hope
Resuscitating Hope
10-9-2018
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