An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 11

one thousand words daily

Day 11: second chances

           There is not a day that goes by that I forget to give thanks for being here.  As those that know me and know of me have followed, a couple of years ago I was in a horrible accident where I almost died.  That accident on Hwy 36 in Humboldt left me severely disabled but it sure is a trip how crazy circumstances can either change your perspective or open up your eyes, including your third one.  Every few weeks I find out something new with my new but old body.  I discover pains, funny as well as painfully shocking nerves, growths, stomach and digestive issues amongst other worries.  Although all of this strange stuff is happening with me, I cannot look at it from a victim’s standpoint of “things are happening to me.”  I am thankful that although I still fall trying to stand, that I am here by the Creator’s popular demand!

            For this writing exercise, I picked a picture of a rose (pictured up top) which I asked my fiancé to snap earlier after one of my medical appointments, since it had to be cut back, from the dead and diseased parts, in order to once again grow strong.  Sometimes we are cut back from something on our desired path, just to find out that there was another, perhaps better and much easier stress free way of getting to where we need to get that provided the better fit.  Sometimes it is a relationship, life path or job we didn’t get that we desperately wanted badly.  Sometimes we are cut off from individuals or situations to later find that… it was just not right or unhealthy for us from the beginning.  We oftentimes can also be like plants yet moving plants, growing too close to an oscillating fan, which tends to chop off part of us which we need, self-sabotaging ourselves and beating up ourselves for not being in the right mind or place from the start.

            There was a period of time (Oct 16th-November 15th, 2016) when I basically lived in the hospital in Santa Rosa.  Every time I was able to  see the sky, I was thankful.  At one point I didn't believe that I would be able to hike once again or take walks on the beach with the woman I love, let alone run with my awesome son in the sun.  He can now outrun me, but shhh, I can outswim him!  I don't know If I will be able to do a long hike, as I've tried a bunch of times, leaving me immobile and unable to walk for up to a week.  This however does not mean that I'm gonna stop trying!

            

             It isn’t every day that we get a second chance at doing something, trying something twice, speaking words to a soul we either despise or hold close, or just plain being us.  As many of us have found, these second chances, although some seem to have more luck than the average, are quite rare. “Only if I would have… did this, did that, said this and that, if I had another stab at it, I would do it THIS way,” we say.  However, doing things the first time and living within the current moment to our best ability is what makes you such a dynamic person.  The Character we have built through trial and error as well as perfecting ourselves, our bodies, our minds, spirituality and even our craft is one which most who come in contact with us, will remember.        

    

a new path: forgiveness and relevance

            One thing I’ll share with y’all is my opportunity to forgive… let me take a deep breath about this one.  Forgiveness isn’t something I’m used to as I used to be quick to say “Only Jesus Forgives,” yet know that moving on without bitterness tills the soil of the soul for exponential growth.  I also like plants, a lot so you’ll hear me making analogies that are nature-filled errry now and then alright.  If you don’t like it, go hug a tree, then tell me how you feel?  AHahaha, I make myself laugh but seriously, there are many ways to show appreciation, give love and express genuine gratitude toward others as well as the natural world which surrounds you.

the testimony

            Yesterday I met an elderly woman at a meeting whose life was once one way, only to be now helping folks instead of hurting them (she was cool as fuck!).  She as well as one of her children, were once addicted to many drugs including alcohol and methamphetamine.  She chose to re-direct her path in life, her using the Faith in God and Jesus, others as she told me just quit cold turkey.  Now she is in the capacity of giving to others and helping others with their addictions and sorrows.  Addiction as I have been taught is a disease, yet my opinion is that it is a choice from the very start.

choice, chance and direction

            Unlike stories told to me from my father about shoot-up parties in North Philadelphia, where folks standing in a long line had to receive a shot of heroin to enter, no one forces the needle in your arm or holds you down to light and turn that meth, crack or any other kind of pipe.  At some point however the addictive nature of the person though genetic makeup as well as the strong addictive, mind altering effects of the drug take over most of a person’s logical decision making.  At this point some hide their wallets, while others still step up and lend a hand towards the disadvantaged, whether or not we believe that they did this to themselves.  I have to admit that I have been on the opposite side of the fence, once selling the drugs however due to my conscious, it wasn’t for that long, as it just wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted.  Wanting change and to finish high school, I desperately wanted a second chance, another shot at being something great and chasing my childhood dreams.

goals and dreams: our perception upon the possibility

            Although in college, a bad teacher I had suggested that I not take Biology due to my grade and try another profession, I discovered that I am a pretty good writer. Thus was able to construct new goals and re-invent myself as a poet, something, although I had hundreds written, for some reason I didn’t consider within myself.  I now cannot do the duties needed if I were to become a park ranger or zoological veterinarian, but I still love animals as well as enjoy being in nature.  In what ways do you wish that you could just drop everything and re-invent yourself?  Are there any obstacles or troublesome hurdles that prevent you from following your dreams?  I know folks joke about some experiencing their second childhood, spoiling themselves with an exotic trip or a new car but how much love can we give ourselves?

            Answer, there is no limit placed upon how much to love oneself, as long as we continue to openly acknowledge those that still matter so much around us.  Can we love ourselves to the point that it becomes unhealthy? Are there any choices that you regret or words that you with you never would have said?   Like a fifty dollar bill we accidentally walk past, while the more cautious one picks it right up, seeming to smile at your loss or lack of attention, we have a duty to try our best the first time.  Yes mistakes happen and some things become unplanned and circumstantial, such as traumatic auto accidents.

control, balance and awareness

            Being, out of control of our own lives or maintaining control are two things which we constantly seek in having balance and finding the happiness we want to attain.  Sometimes happiness is achieved in something simple as an apology, while others find happiness in weddings, new births and others through personal or financial growth.  Forgetting to stop and “Smell the roses,” can be remedied by smelling one the next time you walk past as well as forgetting to let someone know what’s up, how exactly you feel about them.   When granted a second chance, whatever it might me, please consider the time spent that you can never take back.  Also please consider the impact you have on others, as what we leave folks with can sometimes change not just their perception on you and life but their outcome as they encounter more people and more opportunities. 

            I try to be aware of how I treat folks as well as what I say in everyday speaking.  We all have a responsibility of some sort, whether to self or another.  Nothing in our complex life can be summed up with one word and no change can be done by some simple quick fix to re-direct our life paths.  Everything takes work, a tedious, yet enjoyable occupation we all share in humanity.  I recall a wedding I went to, Shyeena and Ralphie’s wedding at a water-temple. There, they had the chance to bring together their love from high school to create a loving family, in spite-of the trying opposition we all face in life, which tests the strengths and resilience within us all.  Here’s a poem y’all! Cheers!

Giant raptors of the sky return before the sun burns to their cold nest

Reigniting a cycle of life that mostly children remember best 

Acknowledging similar struggles here might occur

Thanks was given constantly so the pain a reminiscent blur

As people gather, smile and laugh at the news

Of a child being once again brought into this world

Knowing they too as parents must be wiser and stronger, thus filling difficult shoes

For some the first time was the worst time but

Others rejoice at the opportunity to see awaiting wonders and experience

As if for the first time, something fresh and new

Regret gets hurried off as goals of tomorrow become closer, floating into view

Dreams can be seen in both the child as well as grown up that allows their imagination free

While limits are set by controllers and gimmicks, the wise smile and fly past with winged shoes

Taking time in their decent as being down to earth has its own colors, moods and scents

Living each moment as if our last and

Letting no opportunities for appreciation, love and growth slip slyly past

Living Moments

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