Solid Ground

Choosing to hit the back country roads like I used to and introduce my fiancé to old pines and manzanitas I used to walk through as a child I find instead a graveyard of remnants of a forest holding on from fire and drought. I then think of the redwood tree and yucca plant and how a little fire never did too much harm, one having thick bark to resist flames and the other needing intense flames to help it seed.

Sometimes after the intense firestorms that engulf us or harsh storms that destroy everything in their path or ones that flood our realities and scatter our focus, we find ourselves searching for solid ground to once again build a strong foundation. One question realistic, sometimes cynical question we raise is "foundation on what?" considering what we know and what we have just previously experienced. It helps to be positive, always looking ahead, while reaching into the places, people and teachings that kept you solid thus far to carry you into the next season of accomplishments. I know many shy from religion however I use stories from all cultures to convey the message. Are you familiar with the story of Noah and the Arc?

Noah sent off a crow as well as a dove to check for himself as well as perhaps give his people hope that they could soon leave the Arc after a long journey.  First the dove 'found no place to set her foot,' and returned to the Arc. After seven days he tried again and at night the dove returned and in it's mouth was a freshly plucked olive leaf.  Oftentimes we find ourselves needing to lean on a whole lot of faith as well as empirical evidence of what has worked for us, family or even ancestors in the past. Sometimes we have to revoke all false hopes, cut all loose ropes and secure more solid lines in turn leaving some ideas, habits and even people behind however, more in focus and in tune with the path we were originally meant to walk in the beginning.  If we look close at our situation like this photo above with the building, we might notice that we are already close to top of the world and that promise... see that rainbow in the distance? Sometimes we don't see the blessings in forms when the winds raging against us and we're simply trying to move forward and sometimes we do and we're still overwhelmed. 

Throughout my own battles, storms, automobile accidents and stuff all I can do is recoup and give thanks. I've found myself close to where I began, around the same networks of individuals in the SF Bay Area where my foundation was rooted and started. I attribute my knack for ingenuity aka hustle, Game and my solid views on life from everything I was taught as a child up here, raised by Street Scholars and Revolutionaries seriously. My foundation was in rapping on the corner of Michigan and Fordham and at Jack Ferrel park with friends or in the back seat of a 68 cougar parked in a garage full of smoke, but tonight I'll leave you with a poem and try my best to keep it short. Some folks though have little strength left, are too broken or tired, or just might need a little prayer, push or hand up... so my next blog will be Get Right 101 because some of us need some "Get Riiiight!" (MacMall song in the 90's)

He clears his eyes of the dust stuck to his lashes

Brushes off the rubble he sees on his shoulders

As he finds the thoughts to piece together 

What his eyes now sees and

What he knows to be real

As he witnesses two small unidentifiable creatures run on fours disappear from sight

This house he was sold was young he was told

As he heard after the first rains the walls Creek

Then seeing the sight of the paint weep and mold

Deadlocked into decisions Deathslock of an incision yet destruction is nothing new to him

No stranger to struggles, mind is his muscle wisdom within and he knows...

Although the building wasn't made firm 

There is still bedrock to build upon below

Bouncing Back

And I will rise up like an eagle, spread wings freely and dare to gaze into the sun!
Bouncing back if anything should be a subject I'm quite familiar with and should have no problem talking with you about right? Truth there is, is no certain, particular way, nor formula for doing it.

If I could mold my soul into the essence of those big little silicone and rubber balls I give my son, I wouldn't have an issue with bouncing yet the courage it takes for us just to stand in the middle of the storm when weight is upon us
 can be overwhelming.

Life has a way of shedding light on things and definitely on adding to character, which I've found much of which attributed to my accident and the way in which those I know have changed around me.  Perspective and the the grounding of a person's morale nature are what keep them solid. I've gained much in the perspective category I believe. Solidity, come see how solid I've become! Unfortunately I can't say the same for others as I've watched relationships change and crumble during this difficult time, marking a definite clear path I'm meant to walk, with a deep foundation!

Bouncing back for me takes courage! To look people in the face, to demand your place, to fight for others while fighting for yourself... takes courage and lots of it. Folks question my intentions and actions constantly, test my seriousness and ability to come through and perhaps whoop their ass as well so yes, up out of this wheelchair I am!  Yes we might loose things or things might get taken from us (Loved ones, I almost lost my life in October, all of my things and writings n laptop stolen last week) but we are bigger than things and our circumstances. We are life! It takes courage to press on into the unknown for what we don't expect can occur, yet Faith is what will carry us to safer waters and beautiful shores and Hope in the smile from an innocent child is the fuel that will get us there.

Determination

                                           

                                                                     

Some roads, we know exactly how we've ended up there. Often times we are called to make dramatic leaps of faith, sometimes without knowing how strong of a foothold we'll end up on or without knowing how much ground we might gain.

We often pull from whatever experiences or teachings that best suit us when making decisions that can affect our future yet whatever wisdom we have gained is put quickly into action as the tasks of living demand.      

                           

What is it about you today that makes you that much more stronger than you were yesterday or perhaps a day before?  What is it that makes this hour much more crucial than the same hour at the same exact time yesterday?  We ourselves find ourselves questioning, when we're in a crunch, pressed with the responsibility of caring for another, even when we feel as though it is us that need the help and begin to question if there's anyone else better suited for the task.

Well me, for I can say my reason is right in season and nothing far from divine. Taking action, I chose to see it not as a task, but as an adventurous journey, like yearning for learning... how to walk, eat, whistle, and then perhaps the ability to jump and run for a second time.  When given a second chance, sometimes we're very much caught up in the funk of the moment, too stressed to see the offered solutions or that someone on your behalf have already paid restitution... for success I have found is the best retribution! And love the most available and effective remedy.  How will you rise?

As I take my son to the movies and facetimed with him I see the innocence we miss. I see the simplicity as his smile stretches Infinity and mine hangs short with a realistic look into the camera of "You better make this work, for him or else!" Sometimes we can be our best friend however often we become our worst critic and worst enemy.

My determination I find is not only fueled by the smiles I have seen but for all of the promises and smiles yet to be seen. For all of the awesome experiences he will choose to remember as I as a boy have many I chose to forget. Determination for me covers so many things, as I'm determined to put this book into many languages, as it took bravery and determination just to get it done, as I am determined to have at least one full night of sleep with little pain and make my woman smile forever and never weep. It is difficult to remain determined with hard factors against you but you must! What are you determined to do? What fuels you?  I will dance again someday when my legs are able, I will hike mountains with my loved ones, no... I will move them! I've left a poem below for review, it's been awhile.

What indoctrinations or statements 

Could transform me into a monster?

Mindless sentinels conduct tasks

Much too dirty to do alone

Perhaps too greedy to lend a hand or ask

 As questions we ponder without action

Asked if we'll jump at the gun

When evil is conjured we evade

Like a high-speed chase of the soul

Not knowing that by not standing...

We are leaving room for bad contingency

For the enemy to grab ahold

Much like a child breathing harsh existence

With no love, arms or love visible to console

So damnit I've managed to give to live

So I what I've got

To be there through the storms

Although the ground often feels shaky and Walls, they fall down and rot

As I find that the position I'm placed in

Is nothing short of amazing

While I incorporate everything I love

Crafting it magically for the love of others

Once pacing with worry and heartache

Now evil runs to escape & the fake stutter

Using the fuel of what remains in dreams 

Going hard never soft yet forever I'm gentle

Praising the Creator for gifts given

Reminding that love is alive and has risen

Never again masking myself for 

The ill-prepared and takers of truth

Passing on wisdom with purpose

Without concern yet accountability as it hits them

Building an ever-deep foundation for us to learn to dwell inside and live in

Those once controlling will hope I have forgiven them

As we begin with the task once thought simple

The priceless cost of a smile and

The empathy to understand another soul

Passion Detrimental