Clarity, Gifts & Dreams: A Quest for Sharp mind & Sharp Everything

     Usually it's not me to let time go by, important dates to pass without saying something pungent. Oftentimes it's a political or inspirational post. I let Malcolm X's Birthday go by without saying a thing.  I was stirred to post something about the recent hangings and disembodied black men in Mississippi and other things but life has me by the horns. I used to write to help inspire others, to give hope where hope is often lost or forgotten yet I think this is my last post here since no one reads it or comments.  I guess writing for self is as good as it gets, a way to vent frustrations, to tell myself "Alright then... Shut the fuck up now!" But we all need someone that listens. 

As I prepare my inkstone to write with many of my fountain pens, I reflect.  With my bank account at minus $1 and no food to eat, since I'm newly disabled all over again and have no food in the fridge, I know other than planning for greatness I must plan for a retreat.  My fiancé has moved in to help me out and one of my worst fears is not being able to provide for her and keep her happy while trying to be a father... But time is up and Pops wants his house back. A little computer work here and there barely works to pick up slack. Job search for both of us is difficult with super slow internet, an Obama phone and an ungrateful nine year old disrespecting and saying all of the wrong things.  I think I recently put fear into him by "tellin it like it is," the best approach for folks that refuse to see reality and be "woke!" He doesn't understand many things, as he chooses to shield himself from a reality of harshness. He loves that his hat matches one of mine.

     I decided to take him on a trip to my hometown of East Palo Alto, where we were supposed to celebrate Mama Nobontu's 70th Birthday but instead ended up "on the block," waiting for promised gas money from a friend I let lend some.  This was not a happy day for me but made the best of it, visiting with local friends and youth I used to mentor.  I can't stand going on a mission for nothing, especially in my position with all of these real life circumstances.  We were hungry this day, we planned on eating at the Birthday party, ended up making him food late when we got home.

     No poems fresh to post this time yet I've always got dreams and hopes.  On a positive note I've organized some writings and future books of mine to work on.  I'm applying for jobs although I'm seeking disability and I remain focused on finding "A Better Way," I mean, I must remain diligent and I must keep this everlasting fuel called Faith.  With a strong spirit and sharp mind I stay determined!