An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 13

one thousand words daily

Day 13: a calling… and the answer

      When someone knocks on our door, our first inclination, our immediate response is to find out who it is and what they want.  The same goes for when our phones ring.  We have a choice, either to answer or to ignore. Even if we choose to answer, the method and how we do is what usually determines the outcome.  For many, they wait, ponder, and hopefully, finally they choose wisely.  Sometimes the right direction is the only direction to move forward, carrying some form of strength, determination and faith as they answer their callings. 

           

            Although it might seem like a simple answer for some based on hobbies, interests, skills and obvious, noticeable talents, the path to finding your own niche in life and way of being, your purpose can prove difficult.  For others, finding and answering a “calling,” as to put it takes courage, direction, responsibility… the most valuable concept related to Hope called Faith.  First off the best start to doing something that might possibly seem different than what others are doing, especially if you are a firm believer in it is getting to know yourself better, your likes, dislikes as well as recognizing the gifts given to you, not in physical form but mentally as well as spiritually.

           I chose this picture, simply because I like Redwood trees and wanted to get in a few macro shots to see how it would turn out.  My decision was self-pleasing however in touch with one of my callings/gifts, which is having an eye for photography.  My decision to charge the battery and purposely seek something I wanted to capture on camera served multiple purposes.  These purposes are in effect right now as part of me writing this blog.  Purpose, in having one becomes more important as an induvidual grows older, seeking meaning in their lives as well as constantly adding meaning and value to the world around them through understandings.

            Personally speaking, getting to know my “new,” self is an adventure, as I struggle to with things I can as well as can no longer do.  Many of the blessings/gifts which I have received, I have to be realistic whether I can do them or not.  Shiiiiet, I’m struggling now just to stay awake to type these ‘one thousand words daily,” in the library, as I’ve been slackin on my days, out of gas as well as money for food to eat.  The local church meetings have supplied us with food each day, as long as I have enough gas to make it there.  Many gifts I have, discernments, skills, talents all God-given gifts to share with others now need to be on hold.  Now tell me… what do you do or say when divine hands reach down and give you a gift(s) some would kill, even die for?

erase doubts

            Automatically we question, trying our best in our understanding, to determine whether or not this gift, these gifts or calling is meant for us.  When told and conditioned what our possibilities lay, by brainwashed teachers, clergy as well as workplace supervisors, we can often “pass off,” what is only meant for us to receive, as “noo, that’s not mine.”  Sometimes a co-worker, supposed friend or family member takes what you’ve shown them and decides to run with it as if the idea was solely theirs.  Oftentimes individuals intercede in what you are meant to do by interjecting what they believe you should be doing with your valuable time.  Sometimes we might not feel as if we are in the right financial, social place, or state of mind to reach the set accomplishment, even when it is us with the dream and us which ultimately sets the bar. 

            My choice is to slow down on these here “one thousand words daily,” blog posts in order to focus more of my time on book projects that need to be completed.  Another choice I am making is in seeking out known magazines and periodicals to write for, something which generates some reasonable income.  Things are different when your calling is simply help others and life in general in many capacities, when it is yourself that needs help and your life that needs to be saved.  The good news is spiritually, I feel better about exactly who I am and physically, I have learned to accept that I might never again go on a long hike, climb mountains, and that people are what and who they are, that empathy cannot be persuaded or taught, only modeled. Having high expectations is a good thing, especially for ones’ relief and wellbeing however it is unrealistic to expect others to magically acquire the same values, morals and habits as you have, no matter how long you have known them.   

how do you answser?

            How do you answer a calling and how do you know that you have been given one?  This is a difficult question, although I’m not going to look anything up to help, just shoot the shit as I often do.  I recall a couple of times when I received a questionnaire, which helps determine which job path that you would be better suited for.  I recall, as I was asked to give one of these to some homeless youth I used to counsel, how narrow the results would be.  In other words, I quickly noticed how there were so many professions and jobs left out of this fucking survey, that not only the kids, but I was also a bit pissed off and discouraged.  I remember that it felt like a huge waste of time and effort and that if anyone truly wanted to help, they would counsel each kid, look at their strengths, weaknesses as well as their priceless dreams as viable answers to who they could possibly become in the work world.  I was recently told to do this by one of my family members and the only thing they were concerned with was… “Did I make the appointment?” 

            How we answer our calling is completely up to us.  What others perceive of us is solely up to them. In some instances a calling might come creeping out once you find a task or skill that you wouldn’t mind doing for a very long time.  Oftentimes a calling you receive can be a solution and benefit to others as well.  I am told that when given a gift, we are to share the gift with others, especially if it brightens their day and helps improve any facet of the quality of life they seek to gain.  If you have faith in the unexplained, then sometimes calling you get can come to you in waves of gifts or discernments, ways in which you excel as a human being; for instance, drawing, photography, building, counseling, public speaking, writing or a knack for engineering and fixing things.

            One way to answer a calling involves a bit of trial and error however, when you are sent a task and you, yes you seem to be the only one able to do the job, that is one clue.  Another clue to your calling might be a natural ability that grows although you feel as though you have not practiced or polished the craft of which you are working. A way to ignore a calling is to refute everything about yourself that you know to be true and undeniable.   By knowing yourself, you may be able to direct your life-path, not just simply upon what “feels good and right,” but what you know to be right within yourself.  Although others might notice a change in you or hype you up about some amazing ability which you have that they have seen, only you know if that is what you are supposed to be doing at the moment, and for life!  Some pray to get a sense, asking their higher power for guidance and direction while others prefer aptitude tests or simply ask others to help them fulfil their niche by hiring them for the occupations and duties they desire. Poem posted below…

I am told that under bridges that are both unseen and visible

Lurks creatures with ghastly features waiting to cross our desired paths

With many holding no weapon but book, the only sword, yet no small knife to stab

But grandma and grandpa knew well, the way of opposition just as

Old wise folks, which still hold tight to childhood and teenage dreams

That in no way will allow such priceless things such as imagination to perish

Using their valuable time to spend with the able youth we see and teach truths

Although their time being vigorous has passed

As stories are enthusiastically told about the times and memories they still hold fast

Trying desperately to gift the armor they have once used in love spoken not abused

Telling us that a bridge does exist no matter what desired path you choose and

How to shove that sword strategically and deep into that bridge-troll’s ribs

Under Bridges

8-31-2018

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 12

one thousand words daily

Day 12: creatures of habit

     Whether inherent or purpose-driven, we all learn and develop habits and patterns upon action.  Once we try something and it works, we tend to stick to it like gum to a shoe, just as well as people we choose to involve in our lives.  Some habits are good habits, the best method chosen by us to get the things we need, done.  Some habits are destructful, unsafe and unhealthy, yet for us it is the choice we’ve made which we’re either comfortable or not completely comfortable with. Other habits are revered by those that know us and might be building us as well as others we know up positively.

            I chose a picture of me up top with a blunt in my hat, once which either held cannabis or one I unrolled to re-roll a little tobacco cigarette.  This to me is one vice, not exactly blunts, but tobacco products in general.  Habit forming can be either physical or psychological and even both.  Some habits die fast while others, due to addiction or convenience often prove difficult to shake, like a large, heavy apple jug filled with of coins.  Collecting coins is a good thing though.  Collecting  bad habits can prove destructive and oftentimes fatal, such as driving fast or driving without a seatbelt.

            Sometimes it is an action or decision that forces us to shift the way we think or sometimes it is a personal choice we’ve made without influence.  I for one have learned that eating too much salt, just might kill a brotha.  I like eating out as much as anyone that can afford the opportunity but there are some things that I cannot eat.  For instance, when I have pizza at a family gathering or church gathering, I have to consider the salt factor and turn it down.  I can no longer assume that the food “looks okay,” and that it might not make me feel sick.

action

             I had to take a pro-active stance in my own well-being and monitor the food I’m offered as well as what I choose to buy at the local grocery stores.  I’m not fortunate enough at this time to eat everything and buy everything I need due to my financial circumstances yet I still hold choice to say no thank you and tell myself “Hell-to-the-No!”  The same goes for the way and patterns I exhibit among others.   For instance, when my ten year old son visits, his diet is different than mine.  His mother, after meeting a new man, decided to go completely vegan.  This I have small problems with, especially since he is a growing boy and we have noticed that he gets cold fast in a warmed swimming pool.

            I attribute this to him lacking the proper nutrition.  I have also noticed how she polices him to a “T”, yet lets her other children run amok and be disrespectful.  Aside from him not having his own personal toys at age ten and him afraid to bring things home because they will get broken by his little brother, I have some issues to address or else I see them negatively impact my boy, as well as eat away at me.  While I get the opportunity to spend time with him, what I can do is show him the positivity, love and encouragement he seeks and at the same time allowing him the freedom with guidance necessary for healthy development.  I remember when I wasn’t such a happy kid and that’s what our goal should be… to make it so our kids know it better than we do, get shown love beyond what we were shown, without the pain and unnecessary struggles. 

 

            One bad habit I had to shake along with others such as cigarettes was complaining.  I made a nasty habit out of complaining.  It is not that the complaints weren’t warranted, it is that they served no purpose.  For one, no one wants to hear me complaining, yes folks will listen but who wants to hear negativity so much when there’s already enough of that everywhere?  I for one was told by my fiancé as well as my mother.

a needed change within

             I had no idea that I had become some bitter muthafucka, complaining about every pain, ache, injustices and things which at the moment I had no control over.  Yes we can do many things to change our situation as well as the world around us however there are methods that prove more effective than others.  There is also a time and a place for everything.  For one I had to realize that in spite of the injustices which occur that “no one owes me anything.”  I also had to realize that I was not the only one in that situation and that if I wanted to change things on a grander scale, that I had to scale down my approach and organize, perhaps contacting the right folks and being the right presence, as well as in the right state of mind.

            Quitting cigarettes is something that I have been struggling with a bit, yet they make me feel sick, nauseous, and I had some strange growths and I know that free radicals, such as the ones found in processed food and tobacco might have been the cause.  My uncle had emphysema, asthma and my grandpa John passed from too much tobacco use.   I’m still healing from the recent surgery I just had Monday to remove them, finding good sleep has been a bitch, but I’m forever thankful I don’t have those painful lumps anymore.  It was a quick surgery, only an hour but I suspect there is one more (an itchy son of a gun I tell ya) in there as I have told them.  We will see what happens after more tests and junk.

for the future

            Developing good habits benefits our children as well.  I know we might not think about it but everything we say and do, directly affects our children and the quality of life we hope to give them.  My son has developed healthy eating habits because of his mother as well as because of how I chose to feed him.  My issue is, is he getting the proper nutrition he needs being a vegan?  My father had some input on the subject, such as I should not discourage him from the healthy education he is getting, which is contrary from the heavy consumption messages fed to us through media in commercials and TV. These messages tend to advocate what the companies want, not necessarily what we in fact need.  

  

            My thing is, my son isn’t going to get obese if we let him have a slice of non-gluten free cake with sugar in it… on his fucking birthday alright!  At the same time I acknowledge that we are creatures of habit and I see what happens when children later rebel.  The last thing I want is for my son to reject everything he was taught, simply because he was forced and brainwashed a certain way.  I see all of the good and the bad shit and right now I am not a happy pappy.  Matter of fact; let me call my son and his… not so understanding and yielding mom now.  "Everything in moderation," my beautiful wife to be reminds me.  I wish you Persistence, Prosperity, Purpose, Patience and Inner-Peace y’all.  Poem below!

Crows circle in skies then rain down in sideways torrents

Raiding the unsuspecting nest, picking to shreds

Baby birds within and out of eggs another failed to protect

While we too move in obvious directions

Repeating patters both positive while trying to blot out the negative

For the purpose of pleasure, want, necessity and for some, simple addictions and sex but

Do we too neglect our once carefully watered seeds?

Do we tend to go with the flow of things as we are expected yet

Become blinded to the point we fail to stand for truths, leading to neglect?

As our purpose solidifies furthermore in more than just our own mind’s eye

We raise fists, as well as the future against forces unseen and

In-between struggle and the hustle both understandings do collide

When we begin to place trust and love in the spot where we once placed pride

Hope then beams from unstoppable rays like the Sahara sun

Drying up the lies while rich aquifers flow underneath shifting sands

Dismembering lies while bringing abundance into everyone’s lives

Learning as many times it takes to heal within and properly provide

Bringing abundance in gift form contrary to the norm with sword by our sides

Replacing a vice with habitual healthy tasks which last for legacies

For no parasite or scavenger to grab with ease while simply flying by

Winged Habits

8-28-2018

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 11

one thousand words daily

Day 11: second chances

           There is not a day that goes by that I forget to give thanks for being here.  As those that know me and know of me have followed, a couple of years ago I was in a horrible accident where I almost died.  That accident on Hwy 36 in Humboldt left me severely disabled but it sure is a trip how crazy circumstances can either change your perspective or open up your eyes, including your third one.  Every few weeks I find out something new with my new but old body.  I discover pains, funny as well as painfully shocking nerves, growths, stomach and digestive issues amongst other worries.  Although all of this strange stuff is happening with me, I cannot look at it from a victim’s standpoint of “things are happening to me.”  I am thankful that although I still fall trying to stand, that I am here by the Creator’s popular demand!

            For this writing exercise, I picked a picture of a rose (pictured up top) which I asked my fiancé to snap earlier after one of my medical appointments, since it had to be cut back, from the dead and diseased parts, in order to once again grow strong.  Sometimes we are cut back from something on our desired path, just to find out that there was another, perhaps better and much easier stress free way of getting to where we need to get that provided the better fit.  Sometimes it is a relationship, life path or job we didn’t get that we desperately wanted badly.  Sometimes we are cut off from individuals or situations to later find that… it was just not right or unhealthy for us from the beginning.  We oftentimes can also be like plants yet moving plants, growing too close to an oscillating fan, which tends to chop off part of us which we need, self-sabotaging ourselves and beating up ourselves for not being in the right mind or place from the start.

            There was a period of time (Oct 16th-November 15th, 2016) when I basically lived in the hospital in Santa Rosa.  Every time I was able to  see the sky, I was thankful.  At one point I didn't believe that I would be able to hike once again or take walks on the beach with the woman I love, let alone run with my awesome son in the sun.  He can now outrun me, but shhh, I can outswim him!  I don't know If I will be able to do a long hike, as I've tried a bunch of times, leaving me immobile and unable to walk for up to a week.  This however does not mean that I'm gonna stop trying!

            

             It isn’t every day that we get a second chance at doing something, trying something twice, speaking words to a soul we either despise or hold close, or just plain being us.  As many of us have found, these second chances, although some seem to have more luck than the average, are quite rare. “Only if I would have… did this, did that, said this and that, if I had another stab at it, I would do it THIS way,” we say.  However, doing things the first time and living within the current moment to our best ability is what makes you such a dynamic person.  The Character we have built through trial and error as well as perfecting ourselves, our bodies, our minds, spirituality and even our craft is one which most who come in contact with us, will remember.        

    

a new path: forgiveness and relevance

            One thing I’ll share with y’all is my opportunity to forgive… let me take a deep breath about this one.  Forgiveness isn’t something I’m used to as I used to be quick to say “Only Jesus Forgives,” yet know that moving on without bitterness tills the soil of the soul for exponential growth.  I also like plants, a lot so you’ll hear me making analogies that are nature-filled errry now and then alright.  If you don’t like it, go hug a tree, then tell me how you feel?  AHahaha, I make myself laugh but seriously, there are many ways to show appreciation, give love and express genuine gratitude toward others as well as the natural world which surrounds you.

the testimony

            Yesterday I met an elderly woman at a meeting whose life was once one way, only to be now helping folks instead of hurting them (she was cool as fuck!).  She as well as one of her children, were once addicted to many drugs including alcohol and methamphetamine.  She chose to re-direct her path in life, her using the Faith in God and Jesus, others as she told me just quit cold turkey.  Now she is in the capacity of giving to others and helping others with their addictions and sorrows.  Addiction as I have been taught is a disease, yet my opinion is that it is a choice from the very start.

choice, chance and direction

            Unlike stories told to me from my father about shoot-up parties in North Philadelphia, where folks standing in a long line had to receive a shot of heroin to enter, no one forces the needle in your arm or holds you down to light and turn that meth, crack or any other kind of pipe.  At some point however the addictive nature of the person though genetic makeup as well as the strong addictive, mind altering effects of the drug take over most of a person’s logical decision making.  At this point some hide their wallets, while others still step up and lend a hand towards the disadvantaged, whether or not we believe that they did this to themselves.  I have to admit that I have been on the opposite side of the fence, once selling the drugs however due to my conscious, it wasn’t for that long, as it just wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted.  Wanting change and to finish high school, I desperately wanted a second chance, another shot at being something great and chasing my childhood dreams.

goals and dreams: our perception upon the possibility

            Although in college, a bad teacher I had suggested that I not take Biology due to my grade and try another profession, I discovered that I am a pretty good writer. Thus was able to construct new goals and re-invent myself as a poet, something, although I had hundreds written, for some reason I didn’t consider within myself.  I now cannot do the duties needed if I were to become a park ranger or zoological veterinarian, but I still love animals as well as enjoy being in nature.  In what ways do you wish that you could just drop everything and re-invent yourself?  Are there any obstacles or troublesome hurdles that prevent you from following your dreams?  I know folks joke about some experiencing their second childhood, spoiling themselves with an exotic trip or a new car but how much love can we give ourselves?

            Answer, there is no limit placed upon how much to love oneself, as long as we continue to openly acknowledge those that still matter so much around us.  Can we love ourselves to the point that it becomes unhealthy? Are there any choices that you regret or words that you with you never would have said?   Like a fifty dollar bill we accidentally walk past, while the more cautious one picks it right up, seeming to smile at your loss or lack of attention, we have a duty to try our best the first time.  Yes mistakes happen and some things become unplanned and circumstantial, such as traumatic auto accidents.

control, balance and awareness

            Being, out of control of our own lives or maintaining control are two things which we constantly seek in having balance and finding the happiness we want to attain.  Sometimes happiness is achieved in something simple as an apology, while others find happiness in weddings, new births and others through personal or financial growth.  Forgetting to stop and “Smell the roses,” can be remedied by smelling one the next time you walk past as well as forgetting to let someone know what’s up, how exactly you feel about them.   When granted a second chance, whatever it might me, please consider the time spent that you can never take back.  Also please consider the impact you have on others, as what we leave folks with can sometimes change not just their perception on you and life but their outcome as they encounter more people and more opportunities. 

            I try to be aware of how I treat folks as well as what I say in everyday speaking.  We all have a responsibility of some sort, whether to self or another.  Nothing in our complex life can be summed up with one word and no change can be done by some simple quick fix to re-direct our life paths.  Everything takes work, a tedious, yet enjoyable occupation we all share in humanity.  I recall a wedding I went to, Shyeena and Ralphie’s wedding at a water-temple. There, they had the chance to bring together their love from high school to create a loving family, in spite-of the trying opposition we all face in life, which tests the strengths and resilience within us all.  Here’s a poem y’all! Cheers!

Giant raptors of the sky return before the sun burns to their cold nest

Reigniting a cycle of life that mostly children remember best 

Acknowledging similar struggles here might occur

Thanks was given constantly so the pain a reminiscent blur

As people gather, smile and laugh at the news

Of a child being once again brought into this world

Knowing they too as parents must be wiser and stronger, thus filling difficult shoes

For some the first time was the worst time but

Others rejoice at the opportunity to see awaiting wonders and experience

As if for the first time, something fresh and new

Regret gets hurried off as goals of tomorrow become closer, floating into view

Dreams can be seen in both the child as well as grown up that allows their imagination free

While limits are set by controllers and gimmicks, the wise smile and fly past with winged shoes

Taking time in their decent as being down to earth has its own colors, moods and scents

Living each moment as if our last and

Letting no opportunities for appreciation, love and growth slip slyly past

Living Moments

8-23-1018

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 10

one thousand words daily 

(I chose these paintings above because I liked them yet...

 chose the ones below for other, much stronger reasons)

Featured Artists: Tim Brandt, Oakie Protege, Richard Bernstein, Samuel Obiri and the awesome... Theopphilus Bateng Kwaku Sarpong 

Day: 10 – respect and belief   

                Let us be reminded by sister Aretha Franklin, the “Queen of Soul,” and much more how important it is to stand up for who you are and what you believe.  Today I was at a church feeding when one gentleman of the congregation offered a sermon. He first began with hello, well let me get through this sermon so we can get to this food we’re about to eat,” as if it was a chore and not out of heartfelt love.  It was one of those “fire and brimstone,” sermons that suggest that “if you don’t know Jesus, and that if you don’t accept him than you are going straight to hell,” type of preaching.  I almost completely stood up and cut him off yet I held my tongue, yet I did let out, “It’s my responsibility as a Christian to say something,” but I let him finish and waited for the prayer.

the old, not so effective western way

                I explained to my fiancé that this is the typical, western, white way of preaching that was first done in this country and that this is the type that often turns folks away from Christ and churches in general instead of to Him. I read and was taught that God, the Creator, Yahweh, The Great Spirit, judges us all accordingly.   There’s also a Mormon church that serves breakfast yet I won’t go there.  Sometimes we have to seek to look at the system of things to either gain appreciation or some type of understanding for ourselves.  Sometimes the struggles we experience along with what we learn help to lay the foundation of what we believe. 

                Whatever the case is, it is of utmost importance that we consider others in our actions and what we say.  If close to family or in a relationship, how well do you listen?  I have also read and believe through experience that “the power of life and death resides in the tongue,” broken down as “there is power in spoken words.”  Do we respect and believe everything we are told depending on the source or do we question until we figure our own truths for the matter?  When someone we love and respect tells us something, do we take it as face value, or do we automatically seek our own answers and solutions due to our mistrust and skepticism?  I must admit that I have been the skeptic and I can use much improvement when it comes to listening to others. 

being able to bend

                I am told that I am stubborn, that no one can tell me shit and that’s pretty much true.  What I do now try is to improve all facets of communication and understanding and I also need to learn to apologize for being wrong more often.  Do we listen when the information and wisdom we are given is much older than us, let’s say from our elders and leaders, or do we say “fuck it,” and run through life on a trial by fire basis, constantly erring until we get things right in our mind’s eye?  Whether we believe what we hear, or need more compelling evidence in order to sculpt a valid opinion, we all need to consider the community and character building morals of consideration, sensitivity and Respect!  I’ve been told respect given is respect earned, treat others how you want them to and things from my own neighborhood such as “Real recognize Real,” and “Game recognize Game.” I can go even further using African Adinkra Symbols as well as some through acculturation, Sicilian as well as Italian symbols which share similar meanings.

the messengers and the messages

                If I talk about famous folks that spread the messages of Respect, Dignity and openly shared their beliefs, Aretha Franklin automatically pops into my head.  Perhaps it was her signature song, first created by       which gives me the feeling and that “I’m Every Woman,” with late Whitney Houston and  soulful Chaka Kahn that also leave me with a feeling of “You go’n respect my Black woman!”  One thing for certain is that their reminders will always be remembered through their actions as well as their legacies in song and words left behind.  For instance, look at these quotes by Aretha?

                “We all require and want respect, man or woman, black or white.  It’s our basic human right.”

                “Sometimes what you’re looking for is already there.”

                “Be your own artist, and always be confident in what you are doing.  If you’re not going to be confident, you might as well not be doing it.”

                Aren’t those words powerful or what?  I feel confident in the words and thoughts I choose to share with all of you that something good and genuine throughout all of the anecdotes, stories and wisdom resonates deep.  I also think about other woman such as Sojourner Truth, Dorothy Dandridge, Oprah Winfrey as well as men that have left an impact such as Malcolm X, Frederick Douglass, Muammar Gaddafi (yes he was a dictator but he loved his black people everywhere and loved Africa, look into his great Man-Made River project that the US and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization Bombed) and Kofi Anan that recently passed a few days ago.  Kofi Annan, from Ghana, was the first black African to Head the United Nations as The Office of Secretary General of the United Nations (1997-2006) and received the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006.  His words and ways of keeping peace will be remembered well after he is gone.  He was so dedicated to world peace that in 2016, he was appointed as Joint Special Representative for Syria by the UN as well as the Arab League yet resigned after being frustrated about the UN’s lack of progress in regard to conflict resolution.

                 

                Respect is something we either receive or give.  Most of us hope that we are respected on some human level, to a degree in which we feel comfortable around others and even comfortable of what others perceive about us.   Without being self-conscious and utterly and completely aware of every facet of the world around us, what I have repeated and what I will continue to remind is that we can choose to change the bit of planet around us in regards to how we treat the natural earth as well as how we treat and serve those we come into contact with on a daily basis.  I feel compelled to write a little poem and so I shall do so! Enjoy y’all!

While men lie with demons speaking for their every whim, decision and move

Only the swift winds know the truth

As exceptional individuals leave impacts known Better than the names of the largest crater

Known to give life, remind meaning and to build…

Instead of destroying what one and all should inherently protect

Proven the basic instincts within us to nurture, care, dare to and to succeed

Gifting remedies in song and actions made beyond music notes, speeches made and the page

Now knowing that we too, deserve through birth-right, dignity, peace

A right to hold on to what we believe the base of communication for every person and nation, respect!

Dignity, Peace, Belief and Respect

8-22-2018

Sources: The brainy quote.com, un.org, kofi annanfoundation.org, and yes, this time I used Wikipedia as a last resort.

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 9

one thousand words daily

                

Day: 9     giving your everything – the dangers and the joys

     It was two years ago, around this time, growing season in Humbolt when a friend of mine... downloaded an episode of this interesting cartoon laden with adult humor, a cold satire on the human condition known as “Rick & Morty.”   I had just walked up the mountain from a plot I was managing and long, hot day of farming, popped open a beer that was handed to me, as I exchanged for some I brought up from Chico’s cabin. To my surprise on the screen, were giant bald heads, with butts on the opposite side saying “Show me what you got?” As it turned out, Morty and his twisted grandfather, Rick had to music battle with other planets in order to save ours or else the giant heads would blow up planet Earth.  Luckily for us, when we “show them what we’ve got,” when it comes to relationships, family and the workplace, we don’t get blown up.  Unfortunately, sometimes when we give all that we have got without recognition, acknowledgement and thanks; it can sometimes feel as though our whole world crumbles around us in a sense.  We can end up feeling emotionally as well as physically exhausted and used.

             The pictures I chose were from a trip up north (one below at Sacramento High Times Cannabis Cup) I took to say hello, thank you, as well as to show my future wife where I was working, right before my life-changing accident.  My goal was to show her the beauty of stuff, especially since the stories I told about here sounded quite hectic as far as how I was roughing it and stuff, in the great outdoors and all.  I wanted her to smell the freshness of the air, see the sun shining through the trees and smell the bay trees as I have.  I knew she would appreciate it and I was right.  In the photograph up top you see me picking some of the last of Chico's Elephant Garlic for her.  She loves garlic!  When you love someone so deeply you tend to want to bring them into your world and share all of the things that make you smile.

titles

            My last two jobs, I called myself a cannabis consultant however I did so much more than any scope of work or job title could define.  Due to the fact that I was undervalued and taken advantage of by both companies I helped to build, I gladly resigned from both.  “This was not the compassion that I was first met with in the industry,” as folks in the beginning talked the talk but no matter what I said or how much I tried to convey and educate, they all refused to walk the walk.  I realized that you cannot force a soul into a demon, that some are just not wired to think differently.  In many instances, it doesn’t matter how hard we work, what we show them, or what we do for them, because their intentions and expectations, whether realistic or not will always supersede yours.  This is especially the case amongst those that for some reason or other, place themselves on a platform higher than you.  Religion, upbringing, community, class and yes... racial background have everything to do with these misconstrued assumptions and preconceived notions of hierarchy.      

placing value
              Recently I was sent a link for a position by my former business partner and after much thought and evaluation, I told my fiancé straight up that, “you know, the last thing I want is to give my all just to be undervalued by another white man. My heart just can’t take it anymore.”  Let me first explain that most black folks are taught at an early age to be five times as smarter and work five times as harder, because we have to in order to get ahead in a “white man’s world.”  Women suffer similarly from a primitive patriarchal society and way of thinking yet without the same judgments and stereotypes, undervalued.  I’m not even sure what kind of heart issues I currently have, as my cardiologist is still running tests but as a health educator I know enough to know that my heart is not as strong as it used to be and that even with a healthy diet and exercise, that high stress alone is a determining factor for strokes and heart attacks.  Do I regret those years in San Diego helping “big nose” build his business and his dream instead of going for mine as a writer? Yes I do!

know exactly what you’re doing, where you are and regret not

            Time can in no way be reversed and I know that I could have been a much more attentive father to my son instead of shoveling out all of my ideas, insight and skills trying to make the next buck, for another person.  I don’t regret everything as I have learned much from every experience but I fell back into a hole with the next position, where corporate guys saw my insight, took it, built their company, then pressured me when I didn’t jump how high they wanted me to.  It didn’t matter how much I knew or how right I was.  This is one mistake that I will never make again! I will never again be taken advantage of by anyone… or undervalued!  We cannot change the way people think nor influence the way in which they were brought up.  You must, by all means, know what you bring to the table, know who you are and know your worth!   If you have no clue, a muthafucka whether corporate or not might tell you exactly what they want you to be, what you are… and pimp the fuck out of you.  “Just being real y’all.”

            Most people’s values and morals solidify as they approach their high school years and by example, we learn how we want and do not want to be.  Some look at their parents thinking “Heck no, I’m going to be opposite of that dipshit!” only to end up kind of just like them.  Isn’t it amazing how genetics plays into things? Although genes are strong, we all possess the ability to break cycles.  There are cycles of abuse, lack of communication, drug abuse, and cycles of physical as well as mental violence that each person had a choice in changing. 

your will
           It is up to us to want different, seek different patterns and act upon those “Good vibes,” that we want to see in others, by giving positivity ourselves. When we approach a new friendship, relationship or job, how we deal with people and how much of ourselves we offer often determines the outcome.  In some cases in the beginning of a relationship or job, you might not want to put all of your eggs in one basket, so that you can pull out a golden egg later. For instance, in some beginning stages of friendships and relationships, you might want to keep it spicy and keep surprising the person with new things about them that they don’t know. Another reason to withhold personal info might simply be to establish trust, as to see their “Staying time,” in other words, how genuine they are and what their intentions truly are. 

            When you are in a serious relationship it is important to show the other person who you are wholly, so that there are no false ideas or expectations that come up.  The last thing you want is to be with someone that doesn’t understand you or know you.  In matters of the heart, it is better to be an honest open book, water the heart with conversation, love, exploration, ideas, share your dreams and hang on for the ride.  We can only expect to receive what we give right, so “show them what you got!” and take a chance with being yourself and genuine.  Show them the nice things that make you smile and treat them the special way in which you also want to be treated.  It’s a trip me sitting here typing basically “the golden rule,” of treat others how you want to be treated but I guess we are declining in morale and as you might have seen and experienced, some might just need that kick in the butt of a reminder.

            In the workplace, especially with a new company, you might not want to give them all of your secrets upfront, as they could capitalize and use them for their sole benefit, while you could be left with pennies.  In other instances you might want to speak up if you have a certain desired skill so that the job position or opportunity does not pass you up. We must all decide how far to go in every established as well as unofficial relationship we have whether it be professional or personal, at work or at play.  If whatever decision you make compromises who you are as a person, how you function or makes a negative impact upon what you believe, you might want to re-think that to save your soul, gain some insight and perspective.  Feeling as if you have lost part of yourself or have wasted priceless time is no way to feel, believe me!

            If there are regrets, what would you do different?  Have you forgiven others and yourself for the choices that you have made?  Have you ever, either intentional or unintentional, taken a proverbial shit on someone else’s dreams or completely shafted someone because the position called for you to do so?  Sometimes self-reflection, looking at that “Man in the mirror,” like Michael Jackson, or woman in the mirror can lead you towards an unexpected change in thinking, goal setting and even shift the progression of success that you previously sought by opening up your eyes to a new way that might perhaps be better for you.  My hope is that everyone simply thinks about what I write and that everyone from here, by simply paying attention will seek a more quality filled existence, something that they can go to sleep at night as well as wake up, feeling purposeful, wanted and complete… regardless of what goes on outside and behind other walls.  Let us put on our favorite song, not give a fuck for just one moment and have a ball! 

         This was a picture we took in front of Chico's cabin. RIP Chico, the Legend! Miss you man!