An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 11

one thousand words daily

Day 11: second chances

           There is not a day that goes by that I forget to give thanks for being here.  As those that know me and know of me have followed, a couple of years ago I was in a horrible accident where I almost died.  That accident on Hwy 36 in Humboldt left me severely disabled but it sure is a trip how crazy circumstances can either change your perspective or open up your eyes, including your third one.  Every few weeks I find out something new with my new but old body.  I discover pains, funny as well as painfully shocking nerves, growths, stomach and digestive issues amongst other worries.  Although all of this strange stuff is happening with me, I cannot look at it from a victim’s standpoint of “things are happening to me.”  I am thankful that although I still fall trying to stand, that I am here by the Creator’s popular demand!

            For this writing exercise, I picked a picture of a rose (pictured up top) which I asked my fiancé to snap earlier after one of my medical appointments, since it had to be cut back, from the dead and diseased parts, in order to once again grow strong.  Sometimes we are cut back from something on our desired path, just to find out that there was another, perhaps better and much easier stress free way of getting to where we need to get that provided the better fit.  Sometimes it is a relationship, life path or job we didn’t get that we desperately wanted badly.  Sometimes we are cut off from individuals or situations to later find that… it was just not right or unhealthy for us from the beginning.  We oftentimes can also be like plants yet moving plants, growing too close to an oscillating fan, which tends to chop off part of us which we need, self-sabotaging ourselves and beating up ourselves for not being in the right mind or place from the start.

            There was a period of time (Oct 16th-November 15th, 2016) when I basically lived in the hospital in Santa Rosa.  Every time I was able to  see the sky, I was thankful.  At one point I didn't believe that I would be able to hike once again or take walks on the beach with the woman I love, let alone run with my awesome son in the sun.  He can now outrun me, but shhh, I can outswim him!  I don't know If I will be able to do a long hike, as I've tried a bunch of times, leaving me immobile and unable to walk for up to a week.  This however does not mean that I'm gonna stop trying!

            

             It isn’t every day that we get a second chance at doing something, trying something twice, speaking words to a soul we either despise or hold close, or just plain being us.  As many of us have found, these second chances, although some seem to have more luck than the average, are quite rare. “Only if I would have… did this, did that, said this and that, if I had another stab at it, I would do it THIS way,” we say.  However, doing things the first time and living within the current moment to our best ability is what makes you such a dynamic person.  The Character we have built through trial and error as well as perfecting ourselves, our bodies, our minds, spirituality and even our craft is one which most who come in contact with us, will remember.        

    

a new path: forgiveness and relevance

            One thing I’ll share with y’all is my opportunity to forgive… let me take a deep breath about this one.  Forgiveness isn’t something I’m used to as I used to be quick to say “Only Jesus Forgives,” yet know that moving on without bitterness tills the soil of the soul for exponential growth.  I also like plants, a lot so you’ll hear me making analogies that are nature-filled errry now and then alright.  If you don’t like it, go hug a tree, then tell me how you feel?  AHahaha, I make myself laugh but seriously, there are many ways to show appreciation, give love and express genuine gratitude toward others as well as the natural world which surrounds you.

the testimony

            Yesterday I met an elderly woman at a meeting whose life was once one way, only to be now helping folks instead of hurting them (she was cool as fuck!).  She as well as one of her children, were once addicted to many drugs including alcohol and methamphetamine.  She chose to re-direct her path in life, her using the Faith in God and Jesus, others as she told me just quit cold turkey.  Now she is in the capacity of giving to others and helping others with their addictions and sorrows.  Addiction as I have been taught is a disease, yet my opinion is that it is a choice from the very start.

choice, chance and direction

            Unlike stories told to me from my father about shoot-up parties in North Philadelphia, where folks standing in a long line had to receive a shot of heroin to enter, no one forces the needle in your arm or holds you down to light and turn that meth, crack or any other kind of pipe.  At some point however the addictive nature of the person though genetic makeup as well as the strong addictive, mind altering effects of the drug take over most of a person’s logical decision making.  At this point some hide their wallets, while others still step up and lend a hand towards the disadvantaged, whether or not we believe that they did this to themselves.  I have to admit that I have been on the opposite side of the fence, once selling the drugs however due to my conscious, it wasn’t for that long, as it just wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted.  Wanting change and to finish high school, I desperately wanted a second chance, another shot at being something great and chasing my childhood dreams.

goals and dreams: our perception upon the possibility

            Although in college, a bad teacher I had suggested that I not take Biology due to my grade and try another profession, I discovered that I am a pretty good writer. Thus was able to construct new goals and re-invent myself as a poet, something, although I had hundreds written, for some reason I didn’t consider within myself.  I now cannot do the duties needed if I were to become a park ranger or zoological veterinarian, but I still love animals as well as enjoy being in nature.  In what ways do you wish that you could just drop everything and re-invent yourself?  Are there any obstacles or troublesome hurdles that prevent you from following your dreams?  I know folks joke about some experiencing their second childhood, spoiling themselves with an exotic trip or a new car but how much love can we give ourselves?

            Answer, there is no limit placed upon how much to love oneself, as long as we continue to openly acknowledge those that still matter so much around us.  Can we love ourselves to the point that it becomes unhealthy? Are there any choices that you regret or words that you with you never would have said?   Like a fifty dollar bill we accidentally walk past, while the more cautious one picks it right up, seeming to smile at your loss or lack of attention, we have a duty to try our best the first time.  Yes mistakes happen and some things become unplanned and circumstantial, such as traumatic auto accidents.

control, balance and awareness

            Being, out of control of our own lives or maintaining control are two things which we constantly seek in having balance and finding the happiness we want to attain.  Sometimes happiness is achieved in something simple as an apology, while others find happiness in weddings, new births and others through personal or financial growth.  Forgetting to stop and “Smell the roses,” can be remedied by smelling one the next time you walk past as well as forgetting to let someone know what’s up, how exactly you feel about them.   When granted a second chance, whatever it might me, please consider the time spent that you can never take back.  Also please consider the impact you have on others, as what we leave folks with can sometimes change not just their perception on you and life but their outcome as they encounter more people and more opportunities. 

            I try to be aware of how I treat folks as well as what I say in everyday speaking.  We all have a responsibility of some sort, whether to self or another.  Nothing in our complex life can be summed up with one word and no change can be done by some simple quick fix to re-direct our life paths.  Everything takes work, a tedious, yet enjoyable occupation we all share in humanity.  I recall a wedding I went to, Shyeena and Ralphie’s wedding at a water-temple. There, they had the chance to bring together their love from high school to create a loving family, in spite-of the trying opposition we all face in life, which tests the strengths and resilience within us all.  Here’s a poem y’all! Cheers!

Giant raptors of the sky return before the sun burns to their cold nest

Reigniting a cycle of life that mostly children remember best 

Acknowledging similar struggles here might occur

Thanks was given constantly so the pain a reminiscent blur

As people gather, smile and laugh at the news

Of a child being once again brought into this world

Knowing they too as parents must be wiser and stronger, thus filling difficult shoes

For some the first time was the worst time but

Others rejoice at the opportunity to see awaiting wonders and experience

As if for the first time, something fresh and new

Regret gets hurried off as goals of tomorrow become closer, floating into view

Dreams can be seen in both the child as well as grown up that allows their imagination free

While limits are set by controllers and gimmicks, the wise smile and fly past with winged shoes

Taking time in their decent as being down to earth has its own colors, moods and scents

Living each moment as if our last and

Letting no opportunities for appreciation, love and growth slip slyly past

Living Moments

8-23-1018

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 10

one thousand words daily 

(I chose these paintings above because I liked them yet...

 chose the ones below for other, much stronger reasons)

Featured Artists: Tim Brandt, Oakie Protege, Richard Bernstein, Samuel Obiri and the awesome... Theopphilus Bateng Kwaku Sarpong 

Day: 10 – respect and belief   

                Let us be reminded by sister Aretha Franklin, the “Queen of Soul,” and much more how important it is to stand up for who you are and what you believe.  Today I was at a church feeding when one gentleman of the congregation offered a sermon. He first began with hello, well let me get through this sermon so we can get to this food we’re about to eat,” as if it was a chore and not out of heartfelt love.  It was one of those “fire and brimstone,” sermons that suggest that “if you don’t know Jesus, and that if you don’t accept him than you are going straight to hell,” type of preaching.  I almost completely stood up and cut him off yet I held my tongue, yet I did let out, “It’s my responsibility as a Christian to say something,” but I let him finish and waited for the prayer.

the old, not so effective western way

                I explained to my fiancé that this is the typical, western, white way of preaching that was first done in this country and that this is the type that often turns folks away from Christ and churches in general instead of to Him. I read and was taught that God, the Creator, Yahweh, The Great Spirit, judges us all accordingly.   There’s also a Mormon church that serves breakfast yet I won’t go there.  Sometimes we have to seek to look at the system of things to either gain appreciation or some type of understanding for ourselves.  Sometimes the struggles we experience along with what we learn help to lay the foundation of what we believe. 

                Whatever the case is, it is of utmost importance that we consider others in our actions and what we say.  If close to family or in a relationship, how well do you listen?  I have also read and believe through experience that “the power of life and death resides in the tongue,” broken down as “there is power in spoken words.”  Do we respect and believe everything we are told depending on the source or do we question until we figure our own truths for the matter?  When someone we love and respect tells us something, do we take it as face value, or do we automatically seek our own answers and solutions due to our mistrust and skepticism?  I must admit that I have been the skeptic and I can use much improvement when it comes to listening to others. 

being able to bend

                I am told that I am stubborn, that no one can tell me shit and that’s pretty much true.  What I do now try is to improve all facets of communication and understanding and I also need to learn to apologize for being wrong more often.  Do we listen when the information and wisdom we are given is much older than us, let’s say from our elders and leaders, or do we say “fuck it,” and run through life on a trial by fire basis, constantly erring until we get things right in our mind’s eye?  Whether we believe what we hear, or need more compelling evidence in order to sculpt a valid opinion, we all need to consider the community and character building morals of consideration, sensitivity and Respect!  I’ve been told respect given is respect earned, treat others how you want them to and things from my own neighborhood such as “Real recognize Real,” and “Game recognize Game.” I can go even further using African Adinkra Symbols as well as some through acculturation, Sicilian as well as Italian symbols which share similar meanings.

the messengers and the messages

                If I talk about famous folks that spread the messages of Respect, Dignity and openly shared their beliefs, Aretha Franklin automatically pops into my head.  Perhaps it was her signature song, first created by       which gives me the feeling and that “I’m Every Woman,” with late Whitney Houston and  soulful Chaka Kahn that also leave me with a feeling of “You go’n respect my Black woman!”  One thing for certain is that their reminders will always be remembered through their actions as well as their legacies in song and words left behind.  For instance, look at these quotes by Aretha?

                “We all require and want respect, man or woman, black or white.  It’s our basic human right.”

                “Sometimes what you’re looking for is already there.”

                “Be your own artist, and always be confident in what you are doing.  If you’re not going to be confident, you might as well not be doing it.”

                Aren’t those words powerful or what?  I feel confident in the words and thoughts I choose to share with all of you that something good and genuine throughout all of the anecdotes, stories and wisdom resonates deep.  I also think about other woman such as Sojourner Truth, Dorothy Dandridge, Oprah Winfrey as well as men that have left an impact such as Malcolm X, Frederick Douglass, Muammar Gaddafi (yes he was a dictator but he loved his black people everywhere and loved Africa, look into his great Man-Made River project that the US and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization Bombed) and Kofi Anan that recently passed a few days ago.  Kofi Annan, from Ghana, was the first black African to Head the United Nations as The Office of Secretary General of the United Nations (1997-2006) and received the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006.  His words and ways of keeping peace will be remembered well after he is gone.  He was so dedicated to world peace that in 2016, he was appointed as Joint Special Representative for Syria by the UN as well as the Arab League yet resigned after being frustrated about the UN’s lack of progress in regard to conflict resolution.

                 

                Respect is something we either receive or give.  Most of us hope that we are respected on some human level, to a degree in which we feel comfortable around others and even comfortable of what others perceive about us.   Without being self-conscious and utterly and completely aware of every facet of the world around us, what I have repeated and what I will continue to remind is that we can choose to change the bit of planet around us in regards to how we treat the natural earth as well as how we treat and serve those we come into contact with on a daily basis.  I feel compelled to write a little poem and so I shall do so! Enjoy y’all!

While men lie with demons speaking for their every whim, decision and move

Only the swift winds know the truth

As exceptional individuals leave impacts known Better than the names of the largest crater

Known to give life, remind meaning and to build…

Instead of destroying what one and all should inherently protect

Proven the basic instincts within us to nurture, care, dare to and to succeed

Gifting remedies in song and actions made beyond music notes, speeches made and the page

Now knowing that we too, deserve through birth-right, dignity, peace

A right to hold on to what we believe the base of communication for every person and nation, respect!

Dignity, Peace, Belief and Respect

8-22-2018

Sources: The brainy quote.com, un.org, kofi annanfoundation.org, and yes, this time I used Wikipedia as a last resort.

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 9

one thousand words daily

                

Day: 9     giving your everything – the dangers and the joys

     It was two years ago, around this time, growing season in Humbolt when a friend of mine... downloaded an episode of this interesting cartoon laden with adult humor, a cold satire on the human condition known as “Rick & Morty.”   I had just walked up the mountain from a plot I was managing and long, hot day of farming, popped open a beer that was handed to me, as I exchanged for some I brought up from Chico’s cabin. To my surprise on the screen, were giant bald heads, with butts on the opposite side saying “Show me what you got?” As it turned out, Morty and his twisted grandfather, Rick had to music battle with other planets in order to save ours or else the giant heads would blow up planet Earth.  Luckily for us, when we “show them what we’ve got,” when it comes to relationships, family and the workplace, we don’t get blown up.  Unfortunately, sometimes when we give all that we have got without recognition, acknowledgement and thanks; it can sometimes feel as though our whole world crumbles around us in a sense.  We can end up feeling emotionally as well as physically exhausted and used.

             The pictures I chose were from a trip up north (one below at Sacramento High Times Cannabis Cup) I took to say hello, thank you, as well as to show my future wife where I was working, right before my life-changing accident.  My goal was to show her the beauty of stuff, especially since the stories I told about here sounded quite hectic as far as how I was roughing it and stuff, in the great outdoors and all.  I wanted her to smell the freshness of the air, see the sun shining through the trees and smell the bay trees as I have.  I knew she would appreciate it and I was right.  In the photograph up top you see me picking some of the last of Chico's Elephant Garlic for her.  She loves garlic!  When you love someone so deeply you tend to want to bring them into your world and share all of the things that make you smile.

titles

            My last two jobs, I called myself a cannabis consultant however I did so much more than any scope of work or job title could define.  Due to the fact that I was undervalued and taken advantage of by both companies I helped to build, I gladly resigned from both.  “This was not the compassion that I was first met with in the industry,” as folks in the beginning talked the talk but no matter what I said or how much I tried to convey and educate, they all refused to walk the walk.  I realized that you cannot force a soul into a demon, that some are just not wired to think differently.  In many instances, it doesn’t matter how hard we work, what we show them, or what we do for them, because their intentions and expectations, whether realistic or not will always supersede yours.  This is especially the case amongst those that for some reason or other, place themselves on a platform higher than you.  Religion, upbringing, community, class and yes... racial background have everything to do with these misconstrued assumptions and preconceived notions of hierarchy.      

placing value
              Recently I was sent a link for a position by my former business partner and after much thought and evaluation, I told my fiancé straight up that, “you know, the last thing I want is to give my all just to be undervalued by another white man. My heart just can’t take it anymore.”  Let me first explain that most black folks are taught at an early age to be five times as smarter and work five times as harder, because we have to in order to get ahead in a “white man’s world.”  Women suffer similarly from a primitive patriarchal society and way of thinking yet without the same judgments and stereotypes, undervalued.  I’m not even sure what kind of heart issues I currently have, as my cardiologist is still running tests but as a health educator I know enough to know that my heart is not as strong as it used to be and that even with a healthy diet and exercise, that high stress alone is a determining factor for strokes and heart attacks.  Do I regret those years in San Diego helping “big nose” build his business and his dream instead of going for mine as a writer? Yes I do!

know exactly what you’re doing, where you are and regret not

            Time can in no way be reversed and I know that I could have been a much more attentive father to my son instead of shoveling out all of my ideas, insight and skills trying to make the next buck, for another person.  I don’t regret everything as I have learned much from every experience but I fell back into a hole with the next position, where corporate guys saw my insight, took it, built their company, then pressured me when I didn’t jump how high they wanted me to.  It didn’t matter how much I knew or how right I was.  This is one mistake that I will never make again! I will never again be taken advantage of by anyone… or undervalued!  We cannot change the way people think nor influence the way in which they were brought up.  You must, by all means, know what you bring to the table, know who you are and know your worth!   If you have no clue, a muthafucka whether corporate or not might tell you exactly what they want you to be, what you are… and pimp the fuck out of you.  “Just being real y’all.”

            Most people’s values and morals solidify as they approach their high school years and by example, we learn how we want and do not want to be.  Some look at their parents thinking “Heck no, I’m going to be opposite of that dipshit!” only to end up kind of just like them.  Isn’t it amazing how genetics plays into things? Although genes are strong, we all possess the ability to break cycles.  There are cycles of abuse, lack of communication, drug abuse, and cycles of physical as well as mental violence that each person had a choice in changing. 

your will
           It is up to us to want different, seek different patterns and act upon those “Good vibes,” that we want to see in others, by giving positivity ourselves. When we approach a new friendship, relationship or job, how we deal with people and how much of ourselves we offer often determines the outcome.  In some cases in the beginning of a relationship or job, you might not want to put all of your eggs in one basket, so that you can pull out a golden egg later. For instance, in some beginning stages of friendships and relationships, you might want to keep it spicy and keep surprising the person with new things about them that they don’t know. Another reason to withhold personal info might simply be to establish trust, as to see their “Staying time,” in other words, how genuine they are and what their intentions truly are. 

            When you are in a serious relationship it is important to show the other person who you are wholly, so that there are no false ideas or expectations that come up.  The last thing you want is to be with someone that doesn’t understand you or know you.  In matters of the heart, it is better to be an honest open book, water the heart with conversation, love, exploration, ideas, share your dreams and hang on for the ride.  We can only expect to receive what we give right, so “show them what you got!” and take a chance with being yourself and genuine.  Show them the nice things that make you smile and treat them the special way in which you also want to be treated.  It’s a trip me sitting here typing basically “the golden rule,” of treat others how you want to be treated but I guess we are declining in morale and as you might have seen and experienced, some might just need that kick in the butt of a reminder.

            In the workplace, especially with a new company, you might not want to give them all of your secrets upfront, as they could capitalize and use them for their sole benefit, while you could be left with pennies.  In other instances you might want to speak up if you have a certain desired skill so that the job position or opportunity does not pass you up. We must all decide how far to go in every established as well as unofficial relationship we have whether it be professional or personal, at work or at play.  If whatever decision you make compromises who you are as a person, how you function or makes a negative impact upon what you believe, you might want to re-think that to save your soul, gain some insight and perspective.  Feeling as if you have lost part of yourself or have wasted priceless time is no way to feel, believe me!

            If there are regrets, what would you do different?  Have you forgiven others and yourself for the choices that you have made?  Have you ever, either intentional or unintentional, taken a proverbial shit on someone else’s dreams or completely shafted someone because the position called for you to do so?  Sometimes self-reflection, looking at that “Man in the mirror,” like Michael Jackson, or woman in the mirror can lead you towards an unexpected change in thinking, goal setting and even shift the progression of success that you previously sought by opening up your eyes to a new way that might perhaps be better for you.  My hope is that everyone simply thinks about what I write and that everyone from here, by simply paying attention will seek a more quality filled existence, something that they can go to sleep at night as well as wake up, feeling purposeful, wanted and complete… regardless of what goes on outside and behind other walls.  Let us put on our favorite song, not give a fuck for just one moment and have a ball! 

         This was a picture we took in front of Chico's cabin. RIP Chico, the Legend! Miss you man!

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 8

one thousand words daily

Day: 8  against the grain

            Owning the audacity to do something different or being something different than the norm of what is often expected takes a large pair of nutts or ovaries.  That’s right, I said it, some cahones!  Doing the exact opposite and shooting towards those goals others might perceive impossible, unattainable or just plain unrealistic to their meager standards and lack of vision is very courageous!  When I think about “going against the grain,” I think about the design and makeup of shark skin.  Shark skin it is almost impossible to rub your hand against the opposing grain of without badly scratching or cutting yourself.

            

pic From sharksinfo.com

My fiancé just reminded me of a feline’s tongue and I, as someone who used to be a veterinarian, remember how big cats such as lions can slowly rip the meat off of bones with their very rough tongues.   I guess we can conclude from these observations that deciding to “go against the grain,” can sometimes be painful.  While exploration for some can be painful in regards to struggles and through the growing pains of self-discovery, for others it can be uplifting as well as quite the liberating experience.  So what if your friends or family doesn’t approve!  Those that are truly concerned with your wellbeing as well as your happiness will support you through almost any endeavor you so choose, as long as it is safe, and for some selfish folks, as long as the choice does not, in their opinion, “make them look bad.” 

outside influences

            How far does “caring what others feel or think about you,” influence your important life decisions?  Are we as independent as we perceive ourselves to be?  I chose these pictures I took as an example to show how beautiful as well as how well-off someone or something can be that grows without outside help or influence.  Think about the Elon Musks, the Steve Jobs and all those success stories from folks that have not graduated college, or chose to do something different than what was expected.  Are their cases and how they began that different than ours?

           

            When we think about influencers and visionaries who made a large impact on us, I think about those that had the audacity to steal their ideas.  I immediately think about Thomas Edison and how he stole ideas from both Latimer (for the light bulb filament) as well as how he stole ideas from Nicoli Tesla.  I try to be positive, I try to think, “well shit, some of these guys were born with less than what I had, they had skin color on their side and the ones that stole… they often were well off and came from families of prominence.  Shoot, I even think about Benjamin Banneker that designed Washington DC and the slaves the built it, how George Washington Carver had clothes with missing buttons and that he died poor.   But these are different times we live in, right? 

            The black dude that had the original recipe for Jack Daniels is finally getting his recognition long after death.  Are there prices to pay for having the audacity or is the reward that much more sweet for being that darn brave, or that damn stubborn?  No inventions, ways of living or creations by us are in any way beneath greatness!  The fact that we can use our imagination to craft ideas, concepts and solutions, not just for self but for all makes you not just the exception to the rule, but the one that courageously broke the mold.   In your eyes the idea could have been an accident, opened up by a certain circumstance or, you had a surprising stroke of awareness, epiphinizing, mind opening moment or simply created the change with the intention of “it just had to be done!”

           

choice and change

            How simple would it be if we had all of the resources to bring about the change we imagined or hoped for?  Some are comfortable with the decisions others make for them while there are others that demand to create the change as well as to make all of the decisions themselves.  As a child many of us had to be patient in order to get what we wanted or needed, being told by adults as well as shown “what it is we truly needed.” We learned the difference between want and necessity as well as what was necessary in order to live life by their, our parent’s standards.   The same goes for the societies as well as the communities we are a part of not apart from.  I have said this and will say this again… We have to truly decide how we desire for ourselves as well as our families to live and what quality of existence we will give them and what to fight for.

Next time I think about influencers and visionaries, let’s see if I can focus on more positive thoughts such as Walt Disney (I’m just going to forget that he was a Nazi Sympathizer a “Nazi Symp” for this post, alright y’all).  After much trial and error trying to build his own animation company in the Midwest, he came to Hollywood, California with stars in his eyes, only 40 dollars in his pocket and one shirt in his suitcase.  Let me think about the artists that rose to stardom, the chef that although wasn’t trained in Paris, got to open his own gourmet restaurant.  I can even think about the common story of the successful hip-hop artist, such as E40 and Too Short, and like others, chose to hustle hard, start their own businesses and weren’t deterred when selling albums and mixed-tapes out of the trunks of their cars.  Yes they rose to stardom and yes there were hiccups and trials and errors along their journey to achieve whatever goals they were determined to reach.  As I’m told and as I have witnessed, going against the grain, depending on your support network can be very trying and is often a path many have to walk alone.

            Although walking the unbeaten path can sometimes be scary and even dangerous depending on the crowd, I must admit as someone that has stroked against the waves and tried to swim up a waterfall, that… It feels GREAT!  It feels great when you find ways and solutions others, for lack of vision could not see.  You begin to feel like an explorer, an Indiana Jones, Laura Croft or Steve Jobs once you do something spectacular and different or invent something that no one else had the ingenuity to construct on their own. My thoughts gravitate to the song by the Roots "Walk Alone."  Let us raise a toast to success, struggle, pleasure, pain and in finding a way with going against the grain. Cheers!

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 7

one thousand words daily

Day 7:  the little things

               It takes a certain type of awareness for an individual to come to a realization that they too, like the sidewalk dandelion, like the baby bird, like most things perceived smaller than us, are quite fragile.  Fragility is often looked upon in different societies and cultures as a weakness. However, being aware of our sensitivities in all things guides us to become stronger and prepared for whatever outcome might arise.  Even blades of grass in their state of mercy if stepped on, seem to bounce back.  When we cut grass, I am told that the smell we smell, you know, that wonderful smell is actually them releasing a scream in the form of a smell from being cut.  Human life, as best as we understand it, has its limits, such as speed, strength, intellect as well as the time allotted to exist in physical form. 

open your eyes to the miracle of life

               These are limits which we love to push and test and although things are what they are, the miracle of life and the existence of small miraculous things cannot, in any way be discounted.  As I communicate to many folks through conversation and wisdom sharing, I like to remind them of these miracles, these small overstepped things that we often take for granted.  Using the example of a handful of soil, I remind “you can take a handful of dirt and guaranteed that it holds many if not all of the nutrients we need for survival, the iron, copper, zinc and other minerals.”  In relation to how difficult it is for anything to live in this world, I use the example of weeds and grass, that if they do not find adequate soil or a secure nestled place and if they cannot grab a few drops of water or even morning dew drops, that they will soon die.  Life as I remind requires attention and love and that it is a miracle for any living thing to exist.

on a positive foot, a positive path

               In birth there are things that grab our attention, such as a new tree sprouting up from seed, a new birth in the family or by friends as well as the opportunity for new horizons and growth.  Along with birth, death still has its beauty as well.  Some would argue as “There is nothing gracious or luxury in death, that some of us die in pain and often die alone.”  My rebuttal for that negative shit is simple, that it simply does not have to be like that if you don’t want it to be so, lonely and miserable.  We cannot plan our lives to a perfect “T” nor can we anticipate the coming of harsh medical conditions or the transition of death.

               We also cannot account for others reactions and emotions.  What we can do is live to our full out best polishing our potential, so that hopefully when those times come, we will be supported and hopefully will not be alone.  Last night, while I was parked in my van, using the free wifi at motel 6, I was approached by a young guy looking for his skateboarding pals.  He was worried about them, since they had to leave in the early morning. A few moments later they returned and I discovered that they were just visiting the states from Canada, on a little vacation. 

               The gentlemen ranged from age 18 to the oldest, which was 21 and they all met each other at a church group.  Eager and full of questions they rattled my brain from questions as to, “why other people on the street do not talk like I do and do not express things with a hope-filled and positive attitude as they noticed in me?  My answer was simple, that #1, I’m not on drugs, and #2 that everyone experiences some type of struggle and what separates is the ability to learn and grow from the struggle.  We talked about Christianity, religion and I brought up some cultural truths, about America and the will to be able to dream and realize those dreams.  I explained that many folks do not believe in miracles and simply digest what the media as well as what their society tells them to believe.  The question of love was brought up and I dug in!

               Upon leaving, one of the last things I told them was that Love is one of the strongest things we know of, sharper than any knife, any sword and more powerful than any bomb.  I relayed to them that things come and go and that love is inherently passed down from generations through cultural memory and genetics.  Also for this reason I was able to explain why love is perceived to be one of the most dangerous forces to certain ways of thinking, such as the choice to dream and want more than what is offered, for a more quality existence.  I used the example of how with love, individuals are forced to think about more than just their selves.  If someone is conditioned to produce, for a certain government, business or group of individuals that selfishness by means of self-progress is stressed instead of the “golden rule,” as well as communal thinking in a community sense, which benefits all whether directly or indirectly.

being kind: the natural thing to do, right where you are.

               It is the little things which make life enjoyable, the “Thank yous” the “your welcomes,”  along with common methods of help which are now considered “Random Acts of Kindness,” that build communities and push societies morally as well as economically forward. Being kind is inherent within all human beings as it is a means at getting not just what we want but as a community, helping others grow towards their goals and eventually when it comes back to us, finding what we need.  It is the pat on the back the person saying “Awesome, good job,” and other endearing human gestures which remind us of our worth.  We can all determine our own sense of “Worth,” as in what we do for ourselves, others and how we choose to spend our priceless time.  Never, and I mean Never let another convince you that you are worthless.  Although some might not realize or let alone grasp the ability to find their purpose on this planet or realize why we are here, there are concrete reasons that make sense.  Reasons for being where we are, and where we are supposed to be in life, as in what we could or should be doing are all around us. 

               Some might get epiphanies, seek job resources, and fill out questionnaires to find what works for them.  Some choose to experiment by taking different classes or even travel abroad until they find the niche in life that best suits them.  Then there are those that we can clearly see that “have a calling,” almost a divine reason for being chosen to do what they do so well, a sort of “mission” in life.  It is these folks that accept their gifts, whether built, learned or inherent in their daily being.  One thing I know for certain is that when our final curtain is closed and the pages fail to turn in the book that is us, is that we better leave something good and positive behind to look at and remember us by. Let us all hope for the impossible, reach towards those breathing dreams and never neglect to notice… the little things. 

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 6

one thousand words daily

Day 6 : healing, heartbreak, loss & living

               I find it amazing that not cannabis, not art, nor being creative and telling your stories is my focus now.  As it seems healing is the most important thing that I can currently focus on.  While in my own healing processes from my physical reality, being disabled to past instances where I was mentally scarred, I cannot be blind to others and the many ways in which they too, are healing.  I was sent a painting by the talented O’Nay Michelle or as I first met her on instagram O'Nay Poet of Prayz-Williams as her Instagram suggests, for a writing prompt.  The painting she did represents the healing she and her family has undergone since the passing of their son now years ago  to cancer.  They spend time near a special tree as this one and often feed the birds and animals. 

               

               This prompt was full of more than I imagined with the story attached, yet it resonates with me, as I still seek peace in my healing process.  She named this piece “Davante Tree,” named after her son since as she put it... 

“it uncannily brought me comfort as it seemed to mimic every season of pain, triumph, healing and eventually devastating loss that we endured while the doctor's butchered him throughout an eye opening year of fast acting chemo followed by an unnecessary but nearly forced & failed b.m.transplant...” 

I cannot imagine what the healing process was and is like for her and her family, as I hear that a person's worst fear is having to bury their own child.  A passing of a young soul we call an untimely death as it suggests that young people die before their time allotted on this planet.  As we all know, nothing is for certain and nothing tomorrow is ever promised.  When I meet dynamic individuals such as O'Nay, it reminds me how I should be living, positively and purposefully and definitely how beautiful life still is In-Spite-Of. 

reflection

               During my healing I noticed something about myself which bothered me.  My fiancé had pointed out my disconnect with people as well as my overall “lack of compassion.” Unprovoked personal struggle and injustices led me to being a very angry dude with lots of bitterness inside. Healing takes listening, as in listening to the self, as well as listening to others.  When we try things other folk’s ways and it does not work, we sometimes become distrustful and even sometimes resentful.  Being a good listener is very important in any relationship, as everyone in some capacity, wants to be validated for what they know, who they are as well as what they have experienced. 

                I found that I heard mostly myself and that I often neglected what she needed, which was simply an ear to listen to and maybe a ready shoulder that she felt comfortable crying on.  Understanding another individual transcends a simply what they do and what they do for a living.  In being open to folks, we help build a better community as you discover every human has many of the basic needs, bare essentials for survival.  One of those essentials is a social outlet.  Some folks use facebook, blog groups, book clubs as well as church activities.  Some, like my 81 year old dad, go windsurfing and enjoy giving back to the community in the form of attending important city council meetings and even exercising your amendment rights with peaceful protesting.

seeking closure  

               Some folks find their healing and peace within the process easily.  For others it is often a trial by fire, searching for the adequate tools or time needed to fully recover, from whatever it might be that troubles them from mental to physically.  Some things for the body, whether it be broken bones or a broken heart, need a bit of time.  Gorilla glue can’t help with this one, sorry folks, as a joke I use is “Gorilla glue can fix anything, except a relationship!”  Sometimes not even the confines of Time can help the healing process, as when it comes to the heart and emotions, some folks need some type of closure, which happens in many ways.  Closure is sought a variety of ways, from telling another how you feel, to finding peace within, hearing an apology, even to visiting a place of past trauma. 

               The ultimate closure I have discovered comes from forgiving others, realizing who they are in the first place (A snake is a snake and bites, we know that, a dog barks and bites, we know that too).  In understanding not just who we are, what the situation is and agreeing with yourself to acknowledge the faults, we can learn to move on.  This doesn’t mean that we need to forget the pain and the instance or person that has caused it, simply that we acknowledge that “we know what’s up,” and have ways of either, not allowing the pain to occur in the first place, or know exactly how to handle it once this type of pain occurs again. Other healing such as the healing from the loss of a loved one is a complete different story.

             Looking at O’Nay’s art as well as the description she sent me, I think of so much.  Today I was simply looking at the water in the pool at the gym, trying to get over my own fear of pain and the hurdles I must overcome in my own recovery and healing.  In the family, my son’s Ninong, (Godfather) is experiencing a very difficult loss of a young man in the family.  To be honest, at times as this, I’m not sure what to say to people except let them know that I am there for them and whatnot.  Time is sensitive for all of us and although I view time as well as death as a small sheet of saran wrap, as not too significant in our whole existence, I must be sensitive as to the way other folks deal with death and loss. 

               I had to only deal with the physical pain of kicking my legs in the water as well as stepping out of the pool.  This pain for me is temporary, although I might experience increments of this pain throughout the rest of my life.  The physical type of pain comes and goes however the pain from loss takes a lot more paying attention to, as it is around for as long as we let ourselves feel it and find ways of overcoming it.  In what ways have you healed or would like to heal?  Have you helped others in their healing process whether it is relationship, physicality or a loss of a loved one?  I for one hope I never have to bury my son, as a parent’s worst fear I’ve heard is having to bury their own child.  What I can do and will do is assist others and be that ear, shoulder, friend and brother for any deaths, losses, lost jobs, relationships or animals that cause others sadness.  Be that happiness that lives in genuine smiles and the heartfelt realness we all crave!

Thank you for reading.  You can find more from O’Nay Poet of Prayz at her Instagram link mytea.life.mom, an awesome page filled with holistic goodness, wisdom as well as some health-wise strategies. You can also check out her website at www.shop.totallifechanges.com/MyTeaLifeMom.  Thanks once again for reading and have a wholesome existence!