An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 6

one thousand words daily

Day 6 : healing, heartbreak, loss & living

               I find it amazing that not cannabis, not art, nor being creative and telling your stories is my focus now.  As it seems healing is the most important thing that I can currently focus on.  While in my own healing processes from my physical reality, being disabled to past instances where I was mentally scarred, I cannot be blind to others and the many ways in which they too, are healing.  I was sent a painting by the talented O’Nay Michelle or as I first met her on instagram O'Nay Poet of Prayz-Williams as her Instagram suggests, for a writing prompt.  The painting she did represents the healing she and her family has undergone since the passing of their son now years ago  to cancer.  They spend time near a special tree as this one and often feed the birds and animals. 

               

               This prompt was full of more than I imagined with the story attached, yet it resonates with me, as I still seek peace in my healing process.  She named this piece “Davante Tree,” named after her son since as she put it... 

“it uncannily brought me comfort as it seemed to mimic every season of pain, triumph, healing and eventually devastating loss that we endured while the doctor's butchered him throughout an eye opening year of fast acting chemo followed by an unnecessary but nearly forced & failed b.m.transplant...” 

I cannot imagine what the healing process was and is like for her and her family, as I hear that a person's worst fear is having to bury their own child.  A passing of a young soul we call an untimely death as it suggests that young people die before their time allotted on this planet.  As we all know, nothing is for certain and nothing tomorrow is ever promised.  When I meet dynamic individuals such as O'Nay, it reminds me how I should be living, positively and purposefully and definitely how beautiful life still is In-Spite-Of. 

reflection

               During my healing I noticed something about myself which bothered me.  My fiancé had pointed out my disconnect with people as well as my overall “lack of compassion.” Unprovoked personal struggle and injustices led me to being a very angry dude with lots of bitterness inside. Healing takes listening, as in listening to the self, as well as listening to others.  When we try things other folk’s ways and it does not work, we sometimes become distrustful and even sometimes resentful.  Being a good listener is very important in any relationship, as everyone in some capacity, wants to be validated for what they know, who they are as well as what they have experienced. 

                I found that I heard mostly myself and that I often neglected what she needed, which was simply an ear to listen to and maybe a ready shoulder that she felt comfortable crying on.  Understanding another individual transcends a simply what they do and what they do for a living.  In being open to folks, we help build a better community as you discover every human has many of the basic needs, bare essentials for survival.  One of those essentials is a social outlet.  Some folks use facebook, blog groups, book clubs as well as church activities.  Some, like my 81 year old dad, go windsurfing and enjoy giving back to the community in the form of attending important city council meetings and even exercising your amendment rights with peaceful protesting.

seeking closure  

               Some folks find their healing and peace within the process easily.  For others it is often a trial by fire, searching for the adequate tools or time needed to fully recover, from whatever it might be that troubles them from mental to physically.  Some things for the body, whether it be broken bones or a broken heart, need a bit of time.  Gorilla glue can’t help with this one, sorry folks, as a joke I use is “Gorilla glue can fix anything, except a relationship!”  Sometimes not even the confines of Time can help the healing process, as when it comes to the heart and emotions, some folks need some type of closure, which happens in many ways.  Closure is sought a variety of ways, from telling another how you feel, to finding peace within, hearing an apology, even to visiting a place of past trauma. 

               The ultimate closure I have discovered comes from forgiving others, realizing who they are in the first place (A snake is a snake and bites, we know that, a dog barks and bites, we know that too).  In understanding not just who we are, what the situation is and agreeing with yourself to acknowledge the faults, we can learn to move on.  This doesn’t mean that we need to forget the pain and the instance or person that has caused it, simply that we acknowledge that “we know what’s up,” and have ways of either, not allowing the pain to occur in the first place, or know exactly how to handle it once this type of pain occurs again. Other healing such as the healing from the loss of a loved one is a complete different story.

             Looking at O’Nay’s art as well as the description she sent me, I think of so much.  Today I was simply looking at the water in the pool at the gym, trying to get over my own fear of pain and the hurdles I must overcome in my own recovery and healing.  In the family, my son’s Ninong, (Godfather) is experiencing a very difficult loss of a young man in the family.  To be honest, at times as this, I’m not sure what to say to people except let them know that I am there for them and whatnot.  Time is sensitive for all of us and although I view time as well as death as a small sheet of saran wrap, as not too significant in our whole existence, I must be sensitive as to the way other folks deal with death and loss. 

               I had to only deal with the physical pain of kicking my legs in the water as well as stepping out of the pool.  This pain for me is temporary, although I might experience increments of this pain throughout the rest of my life.  The physical type of pain comes and goes however the pain from loss takes a lot more paying attention to, as it is around for as long as we let ourselves feel it and find ways of overcoming it.  In what ways have you healed or would like to heal?  Have you helped others in their healing process whether it is relationship, physicality or a loss of a loved one?  I for one hope I never have to bury my son, as a parent’s worst fear I’ve heard is having to bury their own child.  What I can do and will do is assist others and be that ear, shoulder, friend and brother for any deaths, losses, lost jobs, relationships or animals that cause others sadness.  Be that happiness that lives in genuine smiles and the heartfelt realness we all crave!

Thank you for reading.  You can find more from O’Nay Poet of Prayz at her Instagram link mytea.life.mom, an awesome page filled with holistic goodness, wisdom as well as some health-wise strategies. You can also check out her website at www.shop.totallifechanges.com/MyTeaLifeMom.  Thanks once again for reading and have a wholesome existence!