An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 9

one thousand words daily

                

Day: 9     giving your everything – the dangers and the joys

     It was two years ago, around this time, growing season in Humbolt when a friend of mine... downloaded an episode of this interesting cartoon laden with adult humor, a cold satire on the human condition known as “Rick & Morty.”   I had just walked up the mountain from a plot I was managing and long, hot day of farming, popped open a beer that was handed to me, as I exchanged for some I brought up from Chico’s cabin. To my surprise on the screen, were giant bald heads, with butts on the opposite side saying “Show me what you got?” As it turned out, Morty and his twisted grandfather, Rick had to music battle with other planets in order to save ours or else the giant heads would blow up planet Earth.  Luckily for us, when we “show them what we’ve got,” when it comes to relationships, family and the workplace, we don’t get blown up.  Unfortunately, sometimes when we give all that we have got without recognition, acknowledgement and thanks; it can sometimes feel as though our whole world crumbles around us in a sense.  We can end up feeling emotionally as well as physically exhausted and used.

             The pictures I chose were from a trip up north (one below at Sacramento High Times Cannabis Cup) I took to say hello, thank you, as well as to show my future wife where I was working, right before my life-changing accident.  My goal was to show her the beauty of stuff, especially since the stories I told about here sounded quite hectic as far as how I was roughing it and stuff, in the great outdoors and all.  I wanted her to smell the freshness of the air, see the sun shining through the trees and smell the bay trees as I have.  I knew she would appreciate it and I was right.  In the photograph up top you see me picking some of the last of Chico's Elephant Garlic for her.  She loves garlic!  When you love someone so deeply you tend to want to bring them into your world and share all of the things that make you smile.

titles

            My last two jobs, I called myself a cannabis consultant however I did so much more than any scope of work or job title could define.  Due to the fact that I was undervalued and taken advantage of by both companies I helped to build, I gladly resigned from both.  “This was not the compassion that I was first met with in the industry,” as folks in the beginning talked the talk but no matter what I said or how much I tried to convey and educate, they all refused to walk the walk.  I realized that you cannot force a soul into a demon, that some are just not wired to think differently.  In many instances, it doesn’t matter how hard we work, what we show them, or what we do for them, because their intentions and expectations, whether realistic or not will always supersede yours.  This is especially the case amongst those that for some reason or other, place themselves on a platform higher than you.  Religion, upbringing, community, class and yes... racial background have everything to do with these misconstrued assumptions and preconceived notions of hierarchy.      

placing value
              Recently I was sent a link for a position by my former business partner and after much thought and evaluation, I told my fiancé straight up that, “you know, the last thing I want is to give my all just to be undervalued by another white man. My heart just can’t take it anymore.”  Let me first explain that most black folks are taught at an early age to be five times as smarter and work five times as harder, because we have to in order to get ahead in a “white man’s world.”  Women suffer similarly from a primitive patriarchal society and way of thinking yet without the same judgments and stereotypes, undervalued.  I’m not even sure what kind of heart issues I currently have, as my cardiologist is still running tests but as a health educator I know enough to know that my heart is not as strong as it used to be and that even with a healthy diet and exercise, that high stress alone is a determining factor for strokes and heart attacks.  Do I regret those years in San Diego helping “big nose” build his business and his dream instead of going for mine as a writer? Yes I do!

know exactly what you’re doing, where you are and regret not

            Time can in no way be reversed and I know that I could have been a much more attentive father to my son instead of shoveling out all of my ideas, insight and skills trying to make the next buck, for another person.  I don’t regret everything as I have learned much from every experience but I fell back into a hole with the next position, where corporate guys saw my insight, took it, built their company, then pressured me when I didn’t jump how high they wanted me to.  It didn’t matter how much I knew or how right I was.  This is one mistake that I will never make again! I will never again be taken advantage of by anyone… or undervalued!  We cannot change the way people think nor influence the way in which they were brought up.  You must, by all means, know what you bring to the table, know who you are and know your worth!   If you have no clue, a muthafucka whether corporate or not might tell you exactly what they want you to be, what you are… and pimp the fuck out of you.  “Just being real y’all.”

            Most people’s values and morals solidify as they approach their high school years and by example, we learn how we want and do not want to be.  Some look at their parents thinking “Heck no, I’m going to be opposite of that dipshit!” only to end up kind of just like them.  Isn’t it amazing how genetics plays into things? Although genes are strong, we all possess the ability to break cycles.  There are cycles of abuse, lack of communication, drug abuse, and cycles of physical as well as mental violence that each person had a choice in changing. 

your will
           It is up to us to want different, seek different patterns and act upon those “Good vibes,” that we want to see in others, by giving positivity ourselves. When we approach a new friendship, relationship or job, how we deal with people and how much of ourselves we offer often determines the outcome.  In some cases in the beginning of a relationship or job, you might not want to put all of your eggs in one basket, so that you can pull out a golden egg later. For instance, in some beginning stages of friendships and relationships, you might want to keep it spicy and keep surprising the person with new things about them that they don’t know. Another reason to withhold personal info might simply be to establish trust, as to see their “Staying time,” in other words, how genuine they are and what their intentions truly are. 

            When you are in a serious relationship it is important to show the other person who you are wholly, so that there are no false ideas or expectations that come up.  The last thing you want is to be with someone that doesn’t understand you or know you.  In matters of the heart, it is better to be an honest open book, water the heart with conversation, love, exploration, ideas, share your dreams and hang on for the ride.  We can only expect to receive what we give right, so “show them what you got!” and take a chance with being yourself and genuine.  Show them the nice things that make you smile and treat them the special way in which you also want to be treated.  It’s a trip me sitting here typing basically “the golden rule,” of treat others how you want to be treated but I guess we are declining in morale and as you might have seen and experienced, some might just need that kick in the butt of a reminder.

            In the workplace, especially with a new company, you might not want to give them all of your secrets upfront, as they could capitalize and use them for their sole benefit, while you could be left with pennies.  In other instances you might want to speak up if you have a certain desired skill so that the job position or opportunity does not pass you up. We must all decide how far to go in every established as well as unofficial relationship we have whether it be professional or personal, at work or at play.  If whatever decision you make compromises who you are as a person, how you function or makes a negative impact upon what you believe, you might want to re-think that to save your soul, gain some insight and perspective.  Feeling as if you have lost part of yourself or have wasted priceless time is no way to feel, believe me!

            If there are regrets, what would you do different?  Have you forgiven others and yourself for the choices that you have made?  Have you ever, either intentional or unintentional, taken a proverbial shit on someone else’s dreams or completely shafted someone because the position called for you to do so?  Sometimes self-reflection, looking at that “Man in the mirror,” like Michael Jackson, or woman in the mirror can lead you towards an unexpected change in thinking, goal setting and even shift the progression of success that you previously sought by opening up your eyes to a new way that might perhaps be better for you.  My hope is that everyone simply thinks about what I write and that everyone from here, by simply paying attention will seek a more quality filled existence, something that they can go to sleep at night as well as wake up, feeling purposeful, wanted and complete… regardless of what goes on outside and behind other walls.  Let us put on our favorite song, not give a fuck for just one moment and have a ball! 

         This was a picture we took in front of Chico's cabin. RIP Chico, the Legend! Miss you man!

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom Day: 8

one thousand words daily

Day: 8  against the grain

            Owning the audacity to do something different or being something different than the norm of what is often expected takes a large pair of nutts or ovaries.  That’s right, I said it, some cahones!  Doing the exact opposite and shooting towards those goals others might perceive impossible, unattainable or just plain unrealistic to their meager standards and lack of vision is very courageous!  When I think about “going against the grain,” I think about the design and makeup of shark skin.  Shark skin it is almost impossible to rub your hand against the opposing grain of without badly scratching or cutting yourself.

            

pic From sharksinfo.com

My fiancé just reminded me of a feline’s tongue and I, as someone who used to be a veterinarian, remember how big cats such as lions can slowly rip the meat off of bones with their very rough tongues.   I guess we can conclude from these observations that deciding to “go against the grain,” can sometimes be painful.  While exploration for some can be painful in regards to struggles and through the growing pains of self-discovery, for others it can be uplifting as well as quite the liberating experience.  So what if your friends or family doesn’t approve!  Those that are truly concerned with your wellbeing as well as your happiness will support you through almost any endeavor you so choose, as long as it is safe, and for some selfish folks, as long as the choice does not, in their opinion, “make them look bad.” 

outside influences

            How far does “caring what others feel or think about you,” influence your important life decisions?  Are we as independent as we perceive ourselves to be?  I chose these pictures I took as an example to show how beautiful as well as how well-off someone or something can be that grows without outside help or influence.  Think about the Elon Musks, the Steve Jobs and all those success stories from folks that have not graduated college, or chose to do something different than what was expected.  Are their cases and how they began that different than ours?

           

            When we think about influencers and visionaries who made a large impact on us, I think about those that had the audacity to steal their ideas.  I immediately think about Thomas Edison and how he stole ideas from both Latimer (for the light bulb filament) as well as how he stole ideas from Nicoli Tesla.  I try to be positive, I try to think, “well shit, some of these guys were born with less than what I had, they had skin color on their side and the ones that stole… they often were well off and came from families of prominence.  Shoot, I even think about Benjamin Banneker that designed Washington DC and the slaves the built it, how George Washington Carver had clothes with missing buttons and that he died poor.   But these are different times we live in, right? 

            The black dude that had the original recipe for Jack Daniels is finally getting his recognition long after death.  Are there prices to pay for having the audacity or is the reward that much more sweet for being that darn brave, or that damn stubborn?  No inventions, ways of living or creations by us are in any way beneath greatness!  The fact that we can use our imagination to craft ideas, concepts and solutions, not just for self but for all makes you not just the exception to the rule, but the one that courageously broke the mold.   In your eyes the idea could have been an accident, opened up by a certain circumstance or, you had a surprising stroke of awareness, epiphinizing, mind opening moment or simply created the change with the intention of “it just had to be done!”

           

choice and change

            How simple would it be if we had all of the resources to bring about the change we imagined or hoped for?  Some are comfortable with the decisions others make for them while there are others that demand to create the change as well as to make all of the decisions themselves.  As a child many of us had to be patient in order to get what we wanted or needed, being told by adults as well as shown “what it is we truly needed.” We learned the difference between want and necessity as well as what was necessary in order to live life by their, our parent’s standards.   The same goes for the societies as well as the communities we are a part of not apart from.  I have said this and will say this again… We have to truly decide how we desire for ourselves as well as our families to live and what quality of existence we will give them and what to fight for.

Next time I think about influencers and visionaries, let’s see if I can focus on more positive thoughts such as Walt Disney (I’m just going to forget that he was a Nazi Sympathizer a “Nazi Symp” for this post, alright y’all).  After much trial and error trying to build his own animation company in the Midwest, he came to Hollywood, California with stars in his eyes, only 40 dollars in his pocket and one shirt in his suitcase.  Let me think about the artists that rose to stardom, the chef that although wasn’t trained in Paris, got to open his own gourmet restaurant.  I can even think about the common story of the successful hip-hop artist, such as E40 and Too Short, and like others, chose to hustle hard, start their own businesses and weren’t deterred when selling albums and mixed-tapes out of the trunks of their cars.  Yes they rose to stardom and yes there were hiccups and trials and errors along their journey to achieve whatever goals they were determined to reach.  As I’m told and as I have witnessed, going against the grain, depending on your support network can be very trying and is often a path many have to walk alone.

            Although walking the unbeaten path can sometimes be scary and even dangerous depending on the crowd, I must admit as someone that has stroked against the waves and tried to swim up a waterfall, that… It feels GREAT!  It feels great when you find ways and solutions others, for lack of vision could not see.  You begin to feel like an explorer, an Indiana Jones, Laura Croft or Steve Jobs once you do something spectacular and different or invent something that no one else had the ingenuity to construct on their own. My thoughts gravitate to the song by the Roots "Walk Alone."  Let us raise a toast to success, struggle, pleasure, pain and in finding a way with going against the grain. Cheers!

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 7

one thousand words daily

Day 7:  the little things

               It takes a certain type of awareness for an individual to come to a realization that they too, like the sidewalk dandelion, like the baby bird, like most things perceived smaller than us, are quite fragile.  Fragility is often looked upon in different societies and cultures as a weakness. However, being aware of our sensitivities in all things guides us to become stronger and prepared for whatever outcome might arise.  Even blades of grass in their state of mercy if stepped on, seem to bounce back.  When we cut grass, I am told that the smell we smell, you know, that wonderful smell is actually them releasing a scream in the form of a smell from being cut.  Human life, as best as we understand it, has its limits, such as speed, strength, intellect as well as the time allotted to exist in physical form. 

open your eyes to the miracle of life

               These are limits which we love to push and test and although things are what they are, the miracle of life and the existence of small miraculous things cannot, in any way be discounted.  As I communicate to many folks through conversation and wisdom sharing, I like to remind them of these miracles, these small overstepped things that we often take for granted.  Using the example of a handful of soil, I remind “you can take a handful of dirt and guaranteed that it holds many if not all of the nutrients we need for survival, the iron, copper, zinc and other minerals.”  In relation to how difficult it is for anything to live in this world, I use the example of weeds and grass, that if they do not find adequate soil or a secure nestled place and if they cannot grab a few drops of water or even morning dew drops, that they will soon die.  Life as I remind requires attention and love and that it is a miracle for any living thing to exist.

on a positive foot, a positive path

               In birth there are things that grab our attention, such as a new tree sprouting up from seed, a new birth in the family or by friends as well as the opportunity for new horizons and growth.  Along with birth, death still has its beauty as well.  Some would argue as “There is nothing gracious or luxury in death, that some of us die in pain and often die alone.”  My rebuttal for that negative shit is simple, that it simply does not have to be like that if you don’t want it to be so, lonely and miserable.  We cannot plan our lives to a perfect “T” nor can we anticipate the coming of harsh medical conditions or the transition of death.

               We also cannot account for others reactions and emotions.  What we can do is live to our full out best polishing our potential, so that hopefully when those times come, we will be supported and hopefully will not be alone.  Last night, while I was parked in my van, using the free wifi at motel 6, I was approached by a young guy looking for his skateboarding pals.  He was worried about them, since they had to leave in the early morning. A few moments later they returned and I discovered that they were just visiting the states from Canada, on a little vacation. 

               The gentlemen ranged from age 18 to the oldest, which was 21 and they all met each other at a church group.  Eager and full of questions they rattled my brain from questions as to, “why other people on the street do not talk like I do and do not express things with a hope-filled and positive attitude as they noticed in me?  My answer was simple, that #1, I’m not on drugs, and #2 that everyone experiences some type of struggle and what separates is the ability to learn and grow from the struggle.  We talked about Christianity, religion and I brought up some cultural truths, about America and the will to be able to dream and realize those dreams.  I explained that many folks do not believe in miracles and simply digest what the media as well as what their society tells them to believe.  The question of love was brought up and I dug in!

               Upon leaving, one of the last things I told them was that Love is one of the strongest things we know of, sharper than any knife, any sword and more powerful than any bomb.  I relayed to them that things come and go and that love is inherently passed down from generations through cultural memory and genetics.  Also for this reason I was able to explain why love is perceived to be one of the most dangerous forces to certain ways of thinking, such as the choice to dream and want more than what is offered, for a more quality existence.  I used the example of how with love, individuals are forced to think about more than just their selves.  If someone is conditioned to produce, for a certain government, business or group of individuals that selfishness by means of self-progress is stressed instead of the “golden rule,” as well as communal thinking in a community sense, which benefits all whether directly or indirectly.

being kind: the natural thing to do, right where you are.

               It is the little things which make life enjoyable, the “Thank yous” the “your welcomes,”  along with common methods of help which are now considered “Random Acts of Kindness,” that build communities and push societies morally as well as economically forward. Being kind is inherent within all human beings as it is a means at getting not just what we want but as a community, helping others grow towards their goals and eventually when it comes back to us, finding what we need.  It is the pat on the back the person saying “Awesome, good job,” and other endearing human gestures which remind us of our worth.  We can all determine our own sense of “Worth,” as in what we do for ourselves, others and how we choose to spend our priceless time.  Never, and I mean Never let another convince you that you are worthless.  Although some might not realize or let alone grasp the ability to find their purpose on this planet or realize why we are here, there are concrete reasons that make sense.  Reasons for being where we are, and where we are supposed to be in life, as in what we could or should be doing are all around us. 

               Some might get epiphanies, seek job resources, and fill out questionnaires to find what works for them.  Some choose to experiment by taking different classes or even travel abroad until they find the niche in life that best suits them.  Then there are those that we can clearly see that “have a calling,” almost a divine reason for being chosen to do what they do so well, a sort of “mission” in life.  It is these folks that accept their gifts, whether built, learned or inherent in their daily being.  One thing I know for certain is that when our final curtain is closed and the pages fail to turn in the book that is us, is that we better leave something good and positive behind to look at and remember us by. Let us all hope for the impossible, reach towards those breathing dreams and never neglect to notice… the little things. 

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 6

one thousand words daily

Day 6 : healing, heartbreak, loss & living

               I find it amazing that not cannabis, not art, nor being creative and telling your stories is my focus now.  As it seems healing is the most important thing that I can currently focus on.  While in my own healing processes from my physical reality, being disabled to past instances where I was mentally scarred, I cannot be blind to others and the many ways in which they too, are healing.  I was sent a painting by the talented O’Nay Michelle or as I first met her on instagram O'Nay Poet of Prayz-Williams as her Instagram suggests, for a writing prompt.  The painting she did represents the healing she and her family has undergone since the passing of their son now years ago  to cancer.  They spend time near a special tree as this one and often feed the birds and animals. 

               

               This prompt was full of more than I imagined with the story attached, yet it resonates with me, as I still seek peace in my healing process.  She named this piece “Davante Tree,” named after her son since as she put it... 

“it uncannily brought me comfort as it seemed to mimic every season of pain, triumph, healing and eventually devastating loss that we endured while the doctor's butchered him throughout an eye opening year of fast acting chemo followed by an unnecessary but nearly forced & failed b.m.transplant...” 

I cannot imagine what the healing process was and is like for her and her family, as I hear that a person's worst fear is having to bury their own child.  A passing of a young soul we call an untimely death as it suggests that young people die before their time allotted on this planet.  As we all know, nothing is for certain and nothing tomorrow is ever promised.  When I meet dynamic individuals such as O'Nay, it reminds me how I should be living, positively and purposefully and definitely how beautiful life still is In-Spite-Of. 

reflection

               During my healing I noticed something about myself which bothered me.  My fiancé had pointed out my disconnect with people as well as my overall “lack of compassion.” Unprovoked personal struggle and injustices led me to being a very angry dude with lots of bitterness inside. Healing takes listening, as in listening to the self, as well as listening to others.  When we try things other folk’s ways and it does not work, we sometimes become distrustful and even sometimes resentful.  Being a good listener is very important in any relationship, as everyone in some capacity, wants to be validated for what they know, who they are as well as what they have experienced. 

                I found that I heard mostly myself and that I often neglected what she needed, which was simply an ear to listen to and maybe a ready shoulder that she felt comfortable crying on.  Understanding another individual transcends a simply what they do and what they do for a living.  In being open to folks, we help build a better community as you discover every human has many of the basic needs, bare essentials for survival.  One of those essentials is a social outlet.  Some folks use facebook, blog groups, book clubs as well as church activities.  Some, like my 81 year old dad, go windsurfing and enjoy giving back to the community in the form of attending important city council meetings and even exercising your amendment rights with peaceful protesting.

seeking closure  

               Some folks find their healing and peace within the process easily.  For others it is often a trial by fire, searching for the adequate tools or time needed to fully recover, from whatever it might be that troubles them from mental to physically.  Some things for the body, whether it be broken bones or a broken heart, need a bit of time.  Gorilla glue can’t help with this one, sorry folks, as a joke I use is “Gorilla glue can fix anything, except a relationship!”  Sometimes not even the confines of Time can help the healing process, as when it comes to the heart and emotions, some folks need some type of closure, which happens in many ways.  Closure is sought a variety of ways, from telling another how you feel, to finding peace within, hearing an apology, even to visiting a place of past trauma. 

               The ultimate closure I have discovered comes from forgiving others, realizing who they are in the first place (A snake is a snake and bites, we know that, a dog barks and bites, we know that too).  In understanding not just who we are, what the situation is and agreeing with yourself to acknowledge the faults, we can learn to move on.  This doesn’t mean that we need to forget the pain and the instance or person that has caused it, simply that we acknowledge that “we know what’s up,” and have ways of either, not allowing the pain to occur in the first place, or know exactly how to handle it once this type of pain occurs again. Other healing such as the healing from the loss of a loved one is a complete different story.

             Looking at O’Nay’s art as well as the description she sent me, I think of so much.  Today I was simply looking at the water in the pool at the gym, trying to get over my own fear of pain and the hurdles I must overcome in my own recovery and healing.  In the family, my son’s Ninong, (Godfather) is experiencing a very difficult loss of a young man in the family.  To be honest, at times as this, I’m not sure what to say to people except let them know that I am there for them and whatnot.  Time is sensitive for all of us and although I view time as well as death as a small sheet of saran wrap, as not too significant in our whole existence, I must be sensitive as to the way other folks deal with death and loss. 

               I had to only deal with the physical pain of kicking my legs in the water as well as stepping out of the pool.  This pain for me is temporary, although I might experience increments of this pain throughout the rest of my life.  The physical type of pain comes and goes however the pain from loss takes a lot more paying attention to, as it is around for as long as we let ourselves feel it and find ways of overcoming it.  In what ways have you healed or would like to heal?  Have you helped others in their healing process whether it is relationship, physicality or a loss of a loved one?  I for one hope I never have to bury my son, as a parent’s worst fear I’ve heard is having to bury their own child.  What I can do and will do is assist others and be that ear, shoulder, friend and brother for any deaths, losses, lost jobs, relationships or animals that cause others sadness.  Be that happiness that lives in genuine smiles and the heartfelt realness we all crave!

Thank you for reading.  You can find more from O’Nay Poet of Prayz at her Instagram link mytea.life.mom, an awesome page filled with holistic goodness, wisdom as well as some health-wise strategies. You can also check out her website at www.shop.totallifechanges.com/MyTeaLifeMom.  Thanks once again for reading and have a wholesome existence!

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 5

one thousand words daily

Day 5: strength & resilience

               The oak tree is known to be one of the strongest of trees.  The wood, often made and crafted into the most intricate shapes as well as furniture pieces has a place in history as well as purpose beyond what people can put in their house to hold dining ware and clothes, or bed to sleep on.  The oak, takes a beating, often being split by lightning bolts or succumbed to a wildfire. If it survives the flames it keeps growing strong. Some oaks encompass their whole environment, for example, if a boulder were next to the tree, some oaks will grow around the rock, eventually possibly splitting the boulder in pieces.  We by nature and by design are like many things in our natural environment. 

               The reason I chose this picture is simply because to me, the oak represents strength and inner wisdom.  We possess different types of strength when the time calls for it.  Inherently we position ourselves in certain places, amongst certain people and plan according to our wants and needs when it comes to where we work and what type of work we do.  All of this we do whether carefully planned or automatically by instinct for our very survival.  I was at a church feeding, thinking that “When I’m financially able, I’ll come here on Sundays and BBQ for the whole community, not just for the homeless that know about this, and the food will be top quality,” I tell myself.  Oak trees that we often see as well as take for granted in this gorgeous state of California were oftentimes planted by Native American people to help sustain them, since the acorn after conditioning, was one of the main food sources for them.

                What or who represents strength to you?  Do you know that there are different types of strength not commonly thought about or taken into accord?  Emotional strength is one type of strength, although very powerful, has a different level as well as measurement for each individual.  For instance, we can in no way expect two different people, no matter the environment they were raised in, to react the same when faced with difficulties such as heart aches and loss of a close person.  Some perceive themselves as the strong oak while others would never assume, hoping to be as strong as, or even stronger than another individual they might know. 

through the eyes of a child, eyes of the wild or eyes from the wise:

               I have heard time and time again “Damn, she sure must be strong to deal with that,” no matter what the circumstance was.  By acknowledging our weakness, and thus trying to achieve a better ground on how we handle situations, people and even the physical around us, we have a chance to find a way to build a stronger mind, better approach or even stronger muscles.  Being resilient doesn’t necessarily mean “How strong I am to deal with the circumstance,” but more of “How do I deal with the circumstances which I have been given.”  The word Perspective comes to mind as in the way we choose to look at the situation, incident, circumstance or whatever, the better we seem to handle it.

            
              Being realistic about who you are, what you can put up with and what exactly it is you are facing is one way to approach finding out how resilient and yes, strong you can be at a time of extreme trouble, consequence or need.  I have titanium rods in both legs but dealing with the pain and having the stubbornness trying to walk no matter what doesn’t even touch upon the strength needed to push ahead in my daily life, just to function and survive.  Being strong, in any capacity, for self, for preservation, for the future, and for others takes one key value we oftentimes struggle with.  This value is known as Courage.  While some are just that way, courageous, it often takes some spark of interest and wanting to either change a situation or prevent one from happening when “Courage,” shows it’s shiny face.

the subject rarely addressed or talked about:

               To properly talk about Strength, Resilience, Courage and stuff I feel as if we need to dive into the murky waters of the opposite, the substance that also sticks to the ribs just as these values, which is the substance of Fear.  Fears, for some reason other than exposing weakness and fault are rarely openly talked about.  This “Fear,” is treated as a value by some as in a means to control others, a situation, or as in a fuel to perpetuate false truths and cause dissent and negativity towards individuals or amongst large groups of people.  By focusing on fear, the individuals involved might have a difficult time knowing or learning how to cope with, change the circumstance of, or get over that particular type of fear.   What do we do when those close to us, around us, even our own communities or society in general is all wrapped up in many stagnating types of fear?  How do we stay positive with what we believe and know, in order to move ahead towards the better?  What if we live in a house where Dad and Mom won’t let me do anything, or always has some negative opinion due to their own personal fears?

              We can find ourselves blindly directed towards a fear-driven perspective or opinion based on what we are allowed to see and told to think.  Even within our tightly knit neighborhoods with individual families there can be fears circulating which everyone hears through one message or many.  Let us take on Justice, Equality and even the subject of Immigrants.  I have heard lots of negative comments, mostly that have to do with misconceptions, supremacy as in entitlement and White supremacy as well as well well-placed, misleading propaganda which have led some folks to believe that their way of life in our forever changing, adolescent of a nation called the US. Of A. is threatened.  Are there any fears, preconceived notions or misconceptions that you also admit were fed to you? 

               
              It is the most difficult times I am told that we find how strong we are, how resilient we can be.  We notice the change within us and perhaps we attribute it to our strength, smarts, ability to “Get the fuck outta there,” before it came because you saw the signs coming, or resilience, faith or chance of luck which some call Fate.   Being courageous and actively making moves to change things for ourselves, whether we think of what we’re doing or not, places us in a moral place of power and strength as a mover, a positive contributor to the world around you.  So, so what if they don’t see or know how hard you’ve worked, tried, or have seen the change you have helped to bring about.  Know that you are courageous beyond the beliefs of many and triumphant, able to do what hundreds in your footsteps before, have not been able to accomplish.   

             One more thing about the ancient oak.  If you notice, the oak trees have very small leaves.  Although the leaves are small, when bunched together, can provide a whole lot of shade as well as shelter from the falling rain.  Oftentimes we neglect the "Big Tree With Little Leaves," in our lives since we are used to them being around.  Perhaps we ourselves are used to being the overlooked Big Tree With Little Leaves," as a poem I once named years ago and understand as well as accept the patterns of injustice and judgment around you.  We all fight in our own way I'm told however I also know that there are some, for whatever reason or excuse they use, will never fight, never have the courage to change anything except for their own dirty draws. I bid you Persistence, Purpose, Patience, Prosperity and Inner-Peace my friends and family.

If you like what you see here, support a brotha and consider simply buying me a coffee with the link below.  I will be offering a few of my short stories as well as other works as a gift eventually.  Let me know what you’d like as far as  art, poetry or a free half an hour consulting with me. 

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/fANCrVK

Many thanks,

S.M. Black

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 4

one thousand words daily 

“Perfect practice makes perfect.” ~My childhood Tae Kwon Do teacher -Gary Bowles.

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 4

               Perfection as I’m told is near to impossible to achieve… unless you are Jesus Christ.  What about those that don’t believe in God or Christ?  Do they think that they need to be renditions of upmost precision, as in the perfect machine, or perfect model of human?  Do images they are fed through their family members or social environment drive them to be the stuck up, frugal and selfish pricks, assholes, rude dicks and cold hearted bitches that we think they are or perceive them to be?  Although we as humans experience much trial and error with many flaws, we can sure oftentimes act like “our boo boo don’t stink,” as to say gently. I know one thing for certain.  That is if we try and try again, aside from falling flat on our faces from time to time and perhaps chipping a few front teeth, we will have learned a lot from the fall.   

               The picture I chose for today's exercise is this eraser my fiance is using in her cool doodles. There is no magic eraser in this life that makes everything automatically better however with careful planning and the expectation of "hey, I'll try and do my best but fuck it, I expect something to go wrong... somewhere," we can learn to focus on the positive, make room for error while not flipping out once certain things don't go exactly our way or the intricate way we've planned.

               In skateboarding and rollerblading, you kinda learn how to fall correctly.  We do the same through the trials of live yet sometimes the choice to learn from or to forget the lesson is solely up to us.  We might know someone; perhaps close friend or family member that we look at and judge thinking “They just can’t get it right, no matter what!”  These dynamic characters in our life often have their own time clock, eyes of judgment and unseen circumstances that we on the outside cannot see.  We see them fall over and over, hoping that we could somehow intervene, show them their flaw, or even slap the shit out of them but hey, everyone has their own learning curve. 

expectations: who sets the bar?

             When we shoot for the stars, who is it that we are setting goals for?  What is the destination and what was the influence that brings you to the adventure in the first place?  Are you driven by your own unique ambition is it a combination of social factors, parents, childhood dreams,  a path easily taken or a vision you just had to bring to fruition?  These are the crucial questions we must address within ourselves constantly in order to feel complete and content with how we have spent our time assessing life.  I guess you can call the style how I write, “the Ultimate Guide to Personal Completion,” “Pulling Zen From Within,” or “Messages of World Help,” for the concepts that I address can apply to any culture, those within any religion or belief system, on the basis of complexities or similarities experienced throughout living the existence of the human condition.  One critically important question I have heard time and time again from many folks in different walks of life is “Will anything I do make a difference?”  In other words, some look at how complex the problems of the world is and wonder if they did anything to influence the cause, no matter what it is… will it matter? 

              Relevance is something we live with whether it be knowing what goes on with our families, what it takes to make a living to what goes on in the news, which we can clearly see affecting us. Many decisions made by those in local governments as well as in political power openly broadcasted, as well as back-room deals, directly affect the ways in which we choose to live our lives.  Changing the course of our own history can be fun as well as scary for some.  Standing up for ones rights at the workplace can sometimes mean a demotion, less hours or even being fired.  Imagine that, to be fired for simply fighting for equal, humane working conditions and rights. 

              Aside from the extreme, this type of thing happens quite often, with some foul employers, slum lords, and companies doing the most in the most awful of ways simply because there is no pushback, no pressure from the outside to become better.  Workplace abuse, unfair hiring practices as well as unequal pay-rates are still an issue along with cultural, issues that affect gender and class issues as well as surviving racial and other discrimination issues that are still today in our two-thousand and whatever millennial thread of life we occupy, allowed to go on unchecked.  We have a choice in our lives whether to make waves in our work life as well as our domestic life at home, or not to.  In the same way we have some type of sway in our local governments be attending city council meetings and voting on sensitive issues which directly affect us as well as those we care about.  We sometimes fear negativity from our families, friends, even judgment from some at our religious places we feel safe to go to for openly standing behind certain issues, from education reform to vaccinations to even the complex yet simply understood issue of police brutality in United States as well as places abroad like Israel.

              Although many that live amongst us strive towards that perfect body, perfect house, perfect dog or simply just having and maintaining the perfect front lawn, do the places that we live and the communities we contribute towards strive for that same excellence?  Is there anything, any law, current circumstances or physical or mental condition that prevents you from achieving the goals and the results that you want?  If so, what solutions have you already sought?  What barriers have you already broken down?  Remember, that sometimes you might be alone in your vision, or quest for excellence as the sole “visionary.”  Sometimes it can be difficult to explain ourselves or share our goal or vision in a way that is easily understood or digested by another.  For this reason we have business plans and other common tools that help us.  When there is no template found to fit our model of success, oftentimes we are forced or as I say, “called” to design our own!   We are our own architects of our own greatness, attributed the strength of the wings we find or craft to help uplift our dreams. 

              The only difference between us and the old man in Greek Mythology Daedalus that build those wings for Icarus is that we have no doubt of how hot the unforgiving sun can be, thus we plan better.  We have felt how strong the opposing winds can be and by folly as well as experience, have learned to carefully navigate around obstacles, burning trees, those that do not clearly need help although on their knees, and those toxic in ways that if what they said turned to pestilence, would spread the worst kind of disease.  We have taken both the carefully chosen path as well as the difficult one rarely taken.  Eavesdropping on a conversatioon between two highway patrol man, I was blown away at something I heard. Even on the careful path you choose, you can face opposition and difficulty, such as a police cruiser that cannot catch up to a souped up Dodge Charger.  Oftentimes their cruisers are simply V6 Ford Explorers with extra weight, engine coolers and technology that lack the high-performance equipment even offered in the standard models of cars we get from the lot today.  Although they put their lives on the line (you can tell by all of those freeways named after fallen officers from traffic stops gone bad and drunk drivers) they still experience workplace issues which makes it difficult to complete the task at hand.
               
              I have friends that for reasons, see how their friends and family end up and assume the same yet I have friends that steer towards the opposite, often surprising everyone through their success as they chose to be different than what was expected and “break the mold.”  I know folks whose whole families are in law enforcement so they assume that’s where they will be.  I know friends whose whole families are in healthcare and nursing thus they assume this is the right and only choice for them.  I also know people with both similar stories, of lawyers, real estate, law enforcement, medicine as well as military and business woven deep into the threads of their families that chose a completely different route... and absolutely loved it!  The choice for success as brought for us to look forward or back to dream or reflect rides within our next magical, life-changing choice! Right now I’m just gonna get a coffee refill from Starbucks and doodle a bit.   Cheers!

If you like what you see and hear here, please support a brotha by clicking the link below.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/fANCrVK

An Odyssey of Creativity and Wisdom: Day 3

one thousand words daily

Day 3

“Hope in essence is birthed from miracles that have yet to escape the confines of the occupied mind, resurrected from the spirit to preserve life and resurfaces within the smiles of the future generations we raise.”  ~ S.M. Black

               The rainbow, as I learned when my mother converted from Buddhism to “Born Again Christian,” at Mt. Erie Missionary Baptist Church was a sign from God himself, a promise to Noah and his family that HE would not hurt the Earth in that manner, as in The Great Biblical Flood.  When I think about rainbows, many things come to mind.  I think about Leprechauns, a big pot of gold.  I’ve been within the end of one and never experienced any pot of gold. I think of the breakfast cereal Lucky Charms.  I think of when I was a small child and my mother, before she left, used to turn on the hose and lift it high so that I could see the rainbow. 

               This is a picture I sent my son after he sent me a picture of a rainbow he took with his mother’s camera.  When I see rainbows I think of him.  His middle name partly means rainbow in Hawaiian.  I have been to Maui once and there were very beautiful rainbows there.  Although my son does not live with me right now and although he may be moving further from my ability to visit, there are things which make our bond strong.  

               All in all, when I see a rainbow in from of me, I think of new life and I automatically think of this faith-filled substance we sometimes neglect or often forget called Hope. What does Hope look like to you?  Does it cost anything to simply… hope?  Does it hurt to hope? If you think hope hurts, then why?  How can hoping for something good, positive or greater than any current state of things be a bad thing?  I feel as if Disappointment and the knife that hypothetically stabs folks in the back are two of the sharpest knifes in existence.

               Vision is a gift rarely given, however when we can envision the positive result through some stretch of time of defining action, we can clearly see the outlines of hope there on the bigger picture, somewhere. Completing actions within a plan or getting oneself on the path towards some change we can see are some ways in which we tend to find ourselves getting hopeful.  As long as we make some moves, it is then when we then know and fully conceptualize that we are or can be on the path towards something great.

“Hope resides on wings of the willing. How willing are you to invite and evoke hope?” ~ S.M. Black

getting shot down

               There is nothing wrong with having belief in what others might deem mediocre, outlandish and even impossible. Let’s take into account that will be instances when no matter what the feat, idea, dream, hope, invention or story, some just chose not to believe you or believe in you.  Perhaps it was an event from the past which they hold against you or perhaps they themselves lack the faith and the positivity to see anything good coming from you.  Is it your fault, no, we are judgmental as humans by nature.  It could simply be that yes, life is unpredictable yet it is very possible that the negative party or individual simply lacks vision. 

               For us to fit into the carefully crafted criterion which makes another person feel comfortable sometimes can be impossible.  It is literally impossible to be responsible for another’s expectations and happiness.  As I was reminded by a simple post by a friend Cara Luhring that “We are responsible for our own happiness,” and that is very true.  We as humans oftentimes build mental, non-physical barriers inside of our mind which prohibits the growth and sprouting of such ideas, hopes & dreams. We often do this to protect ourselves from future heartache, confusion, even from responsibility and decision making.

               Perhaps a dream of theirs was killed, they are now perceived a “Realist,” and just wants you to see things from the “Realistic” “Plausible,” point of view.  I am, in no way, making excuses for this type of negative behavior and I am not reinforcing it, just simply throwing some dots out there for you to connect.  This “psyching out,” of sorts can seem as a deterrent, perhaps throwing you off from your initial goal by making you think that you are not capable or that the task is impossible to reach, at fault for some action you had no control over, or a danger or “in the way,” of having something done the “Right way,” whatever that means.  I have found that looking at problems through different lenses and offering new solutions often stops future issues or problems to occur.   Sometimes it is because they were once hurt in some way when an important plan did not materialize and perhaps the breaking of promises upon them has something to do with their mistrust.

               It is literally impossible to be responsible for another’s expectations and happiness.  As I was reminded yesterday by a simple post by a friend Cara Luhring that “We are responsible for our own happiness,” and that is very true.  Within our being, we hold the foundations to our own happiness especially since we are the navigators of our own emotions.  Don’t take this the wrong way, for we can be influenced by what others say, how they say it as well as the timing in which they chose to say it but… we have total control over how we choose to deal with what they are saying.  Straight up though, when someone you care about, or is close to you puts you down or shoots you down using negative language to any degree, even if from a co-worker or supervisor, it can hurt and cut deep. Back to the “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me,” mantra I used to try to recite to assholes as a little boy in elementary school.  Did I say that when the kid called me a Nigger at Palo Verde in Kindergarten? I wonder. 

               What we can choose to be responsible for is how we treat others, what we teach our children, the hopes we instill in them whether intentional or non-intentional as well as the love we show to others.  Those positive memories you leave with people whether you know it or not, help to influence how they deal with others as well as how they treat others.  Since we as humans are creatures of habit, let us develop some good healthy habits which the generations below us automatically swoop up to nurture and protect.  Let us be that listening voice, that shoulder to cry on or that catalyst in a positive decision leading another to some type of peace, understanding and/or feeling of freedom.