Waiting for Rain… or Waiting for Flame!

Nothing learned is ever in vain

Waiting for Rain… or Waiting for Flame!

Yea, I know I haven’t written shit in a while but life has a way of twisting things within folds and releasing truths within the stinging flow of things… in other words, I've been going through my own shit too. But while engulfed in this beautiful dance of triumph and burn and stand and run and fall and bleed, I noticed a continuous pattern of sorts. I have much to say but will try my best to keep this blog short.

I’d like to one day write a blog or a book about how to reach success… but my goals seem far and I’m right here right now.

 What has been relevant in my life, as well as those I have grown fondness towards, have been experiencing many changes, good and bad, real and false but something has directed them to take a certain course of action, which leads us to now… this moment on this page… trying to either figure out the next best plan, how to move from the space that we’re in… or trying to figure out where the heck I’m going with this one.

Death and Birth have been trending or I’m getting older , however have noticed this a lot more with friends of mine.  Family members getting sick and dying, women getting pregnant, babies being born.  Many of us have, through circumstance of life, have bear witness to the birth and death of many things, sometimes a rate much too rapid for processing.  To joke but also to be health conscious, since it is preventative medicine now… Now would be a good time to blaze a joint… but seriously. 

Recently I've had the opportunity, well we all have in some sense, to witness the death and the beginning of many things, some in the Change in other people, in death and in new life, of relationships and ways of making a way for oneself or for a family.  Some have had life-shaking first-hand experiences that have either left them with certain feelings or heavy emotions, & some experiences that have just left you… without room or understanding… to process  what the eyes have seen and what the heart wasn't ready for… but the important thing is that you Do feel, not exit and write it off as a “damn, let me get over this,” but a “damn, how do I want to handle this… because our coping mechanisms that we have grown so comfortable with have been deciding for us. Sometimes this is not a good thing, especially if we intend to grow smarter, mentally and spiritually stronger & wiser.

Some were ringing on the “Happy” song talking about “You don’t need to be happy in your misery, you need to handle that S#*!”  but at the same time should learn to focus on quality of life along with direction, that we need to learn to dance in the rain and not be afraid to get wet. 

For hundreds of years, perhaps many thousands uncounted we have had to plan our lives in seasons, in years.  In some cases, those plans made spawned from instances and chances we decided to take… Let us flash back to the recent past, lets say a good 150 years ago, where irrigation was simple yet more than adequate, when the word “running water” was said, it had to do with a river or stream, and when every plan was made, every family or individual plan,  the plan for survival depended on the seasons and weather. Some would have to wait for snow to melt to travel, others for autumn to harvest, for rain so that they could begin to see results from anything accomplished.

Imagine having to plant seeds and waiting for rain?

It’s not that we forgot to plant altogether, maybe it’s that we forgot how to be patient and wait, for all of the fun things and enriching things we can do once we have planned and planted… right?  How do we know what we've planted will grow well, or “the way we want it to”? 

I’ve recently come to terms, see, I’ve accepted that some things are made to be ugly, that there is a certain way of things, a pattern of sorts that everything in living existence follows. We influence this pattern oftentimes, sometimes doing too much. It doesn't matter what spiritual belief you have, these patterns govern our daily life whether or not you choose to see them. There is a cause and effect that sways some things, a pattern, a way of motion. I have also come to terms with my own purpose, that I am supposed to heal others, inspire and nurture growth in living things, teach, help the disadvantaged, and most importantly help God’s children. This is what I have finally accepted.

We have learned to accept what we can, to move with the flow of things and that this and that adds up, that there basically is a formula for happiness in all of our lives.  We've tried many different things, when one things doesn't work, we find the courage to do otherwise but sometimes the math seems strange and things don't seem to add up no matter how hard we try.  We try our best to stay committed to promises we've made, set and standards... we have decided to live by but some of us find a path that directs us elsewhere.

 Some stay on the desired path set but loose something else in the process, perhaps a bit of us or a passion we once held onto for worth… for survival. Things change and damn… we must learn to be cool with this. I also have come to terms that I feel the need to express that we are all connected to each other, to every living thing, and that everything in it’s absurdedy and oddness, that even Death has its reason. 

How am I going to explain to my readers with words that everything has as reason, that Fear is a displaced emotion often used against us, unless it’s natural survival (a car was speeding so I was scared and moved out of the street). How am I going to make y’all comfortable with loosing those you love, with dealing with forces of opposition when I feel them myself?  How am I going to help you all come to terms with nature, God and with the strange presence of Death… when I have not died or experienced afterlife, only the after-math?  I don’t know but that is a challenge I chose. How do you choose to live? What challenges are you ready to face?

 Unless we have to worry about an animal charging, or a natural disaster displacing us, we’re pretty cool with nature right, I mean some of us would never go hiking but we’re rarely afraid that we’re going to be the next people on those videos “When Nature Attacks,” n stuff. Many I know don’t have to plan their life to avoid natural disasters, animals or nature. The only disasters we have to deal with are the ones we humans create, and the closest, most brutal attacks we experience come from those closest to us.  Some things we don’t need to influence, or try to in other words, things will happen in nature regardless, such is the way of life, yet we are so used to getting what we want, fighting, fighting, fighting… for nothing, for a chance at what we consider Greatness or Progress, often burning a something on the path when we ourselves acknowledge that we were “On Fire.” At the same time in between keeping our head together and running full steam ahead, told in so many ways that there is opportunity, that we all have a fighting chance… but for some all we see is that for all of our lives, we have been fighting, fearfully, with some new burden of FEAR that we have not had before, well in some countries and in some periods of time such as Romans against Christians, and everyone against Jews….

Now  the fear is not directed towards a populous of a certain culture of peoples… but the whole genome of the Human race… like an EVIL Filled FEAR of IN-ADEQUATENESS and hopelessness!! Bullshit!!, we sometimes yearn for a cleansing, a rain shower of sorts… to wash away the pain and confusion, to drown out the situation, to drown us completely… or to just enjoy that music instead.  As I just watched a video of a man running away from an angry stingray, I’m reminded or our simple past, that one closer to nature. I’m then reminded that unless something is chasing us or trying to kill us, we rarely understand completely that we have done something wrong, made a mistake, went into the wrong cave, decided the wrong path or walked into the wrong lake or river.  We can look at many things in life that way, relationships, places we've moved to, life decisions even when made for a better purpose. Sometimes we need to step back out of ourselves, re-evaluate, and revamp our purpose in order to know that we are on the right path, that we are comfortable how anything including death will end. 

Preparation: does it lead to progress or to heartache and failure?

How do you view your progress in life? How do you place value on things?

Have you found, or felt a purpose life, or been driven by an action that could have life changing implications?

Now is the time in our lives when we look ever so critical at ourselves, we look deep into ourselves and begin to do what we have not wanted others to do… judge us.  We weigh ourselves by our sacrifice and what we view as success for ourselves, becoming our own parents. Then something changes for some, once they themselves become parents, then their conscience begins to call in ways it never has before.

There are miraculous instances in nature, where intense heat from flame is needed in order to open the seed for germination. Some of us I notice and some I know require a lil bit of fire to open up, shoot, some of y’all just as stubborn as I am so maybe that’s some reasons why we suffer… because the fire wasn't hot enough and our lesson was yet to be over. But I must admit that I noticed a strange opposition no matter how people do that bleeds energies and life force from us. Remember that the fact that you breathe and carry a soul makes you triumphant!    
                                                          lodgepole pine

                                                                        manzanita

Things are churning and changing in ways seen and in many ways unseen by the naked eye in front of  and hidden away from the light, yet it is our responsibility to Live regardless and Love 9 or at least accept, change and respect) everything about it in the process.  I’m not one to believe in reincarnation, however I don’t know about y’all… but let’s try and do this right the First time!

“Baby you can do it take your time, do it right!”

It is time for me to end this rant, this sacred written chant about life. … and end things on a wise note, something like, “Don’t trip, things come around full circle.” And purposely leave it like that… no I won’t do that.

Responsibility and Change are some serious things to live with and accept, which is why I find it so important to remind all of us, that we are not in it alone. We have to evaluate who we are and where we place ourselves in the madness which is this beautiful existence called Life. I challenge you to find your purpose, your talents, or at least go search for something good and help someone discover theirs.

When looking for trouble we’re told we’ll often find it, but if we’re looking for good, you just might stumble across a miracle. Why wait for positive change when we can influence the creation of it? Keep your eyes, hearts, and hustling minds open wide! We might run into a little rain and lightning. Some wait for rain, others escape towards the sounds of thunder, unafraid of the sky opening, burning blazes of striking lightning… Waiting for flames.

~ Sekou M. Black